Needing a pair of eyes

[awstephens]

Hi,

I've always had a difficult time asking for help, but am looking for feedback on a unique situation.

I've been legally blind my whole life, which has always made it difficult to compare the state of my penis with other men. When I was a kid, I always thought that I was uncircumcised -- I grew up in a single home without a father, and never really had anyone to talk about such things. I always had loose skin on my penis, where I could pull it over the head, and when it was described to me once in high school health class, I just assumed I was uncircumcised as other kids always talked about needing lotion for masturbation, which I never needed. It wasn't until my senior year of high school, during an annual physical at the county health clinic, that a nurse mentioned to another nurse writing down stats that I was circumcised. I don't know why, but it really took me for a loop, and was one of those things that stood in the back of my mind for years.
About a couple of years ago, I started to restore, getting a CAT IIQ on EBay. I've stretched from time to time, when I can get some private time in (I've shared with nobody. Recently, I've been able to have the skin stay over the head without pulling it over myself, it will just naturally rest in that position. The challenge is that I'm not sure to what degree I've been able to restore, compared to other men or that of a natural intact penis. I feel like the CAT IIQ has gone about as far as I can go, but I have no way of knowing how much further I should continue. Feedback would be greatly appreciated. The photograph is after stretching several times a week for the past two years, in addition to some tugging many years ago when I was in college.

[greg_b]

It appears that you have made excellent progress! You look uncut, with a relatively short foreskin to me. Congratulations!

Without photos form before, or a detailed description of how the coverage was before, it is hard to say much more than that, but my guess would be that if that same nurse were seeing you today, under this condition, she would not have classified you as circumcised.

Since you still actively tugging, the skin is a bit longer than it will be if you stop and wait a few months or so. So you may want to continue a little longer, depending upon what you are trying to achieve in terms of coverage. Of course, you can stop any time and start again if you are not satisfied too.

And welcome to the Forum!

[Ron1]

Good work. My restoration looks almost identical to yours.

Welcome to the promised land...

[awstephens]

Thanks so much for the feedback and warm welcome to the community. I had browsed the forums in the past; finally decided to register - I admire those men with the level of comfort talking about such sensitive matters so openly. I think my own comfort on the subject is slowly warming me up to speaking out on something that has been relatively retained in the confines of my own psych for all these years.

Hearing of the progress I’ve made is a big confidence boost. It’s funny, since I can’t really tell the difference between myself and others when I’m at the locker room or next to someone in the bathroom who gives me a strange vibe that I’ve being watched. That’s one of the challenges of being blind, but also an asset that you learn to not be put off knowing that there always stands the potential of someone eyeing you. I’ve always been use to standing out of a crowd, which is why I’ve always been more of a non-conformist. That probably explains why I had no desire to look like everyone else when I learned I was circumcised at age 17, but rather I was more concerned that there was a part of me that was taken away against my consent. Growing up blind, you are constantly forced to fit into a mold, only to learn that there are those in our society that don’t always fit into the social norms. I tried years ago to pretend I was like everyone else who was perfectly sighted, only to come up with falling short each time I tried.

As far as restoring goes, I think there’s that part of me that says, “Just be yourself, in whatever form you want that to be.” Learning that I was circumcised made me feel more like I was that kid being forced into a social mold that made no sense. If the body is on the spiritual level a sacred vessel — and on a practical level an amazing biological machine formed over millions of years of evolution, why should it be distorted in such a way as to go against the nature that created it? I can understand if health concerns warrant any alterations to the human body, but there seems to be a strange hypocrisy when society focuses so much on conforming around anything to do with sexual norms in our society, particularly from a physical vantage promulgated by those who demand we must “look” a certain way.

Don’t mean to go on a rant. I’m just excited to learn that progress after a couple of years has been paying off. It’s such a gradual process that I can hardly remember what it was like a couple of years ago, when I was like someone on a cold day trying to pull a turtle neck over your head, only to always have it fall short at the crown. I’m encouraged to keep going as there has ben a real improvement in the comfort of simply walking around in boxers now without feeling uncomfortable. I’m a person of touch, for obvious reasons, and there has also definitely been a greater sense of things feeling as they should feel, secure and protected. My own self-image when standing nude has also improved - more a feeling of pride, instead of a feeling of shame. Don’t know if other men have felt this as well.

Again, much appreciate the words of encouragement.

[Ron1]

"As far as restoring goes, I think there’s that part of me that says, “Just be yourself, in whatever form you want that to be.”

The first time I received fellatio with my new foreskin, all that "be yourself" stuff went out the window. The pleasure was so much more profound than anything I experienced before (I was like one of those cartoon characters that has steam coming out of his ears).

The exquisite pleasure of sex is your God-given right. Go ahead and claim every part of it and make no apologies.

[greg_b]

Many other men have reported similar feelings on this and other forums.

[awstephens]

Agreed, sensation is definitely more intense. I think it's one of those things I have to stop and think about, since the process takes so long and happens so gradually that significant changes to sensation and tactile feel (what would probably be visual looks of change relatively speaking for a sighted person) are imperceptible.