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This topic is one of the first things I posted on the former site (damn you, GoDaddy...urghhh). I had seen several posts from frustrated forum members, in which they felt as if they had a 'numb stick' between their legs, and I thought that some of this information might help...so I'm reconstructing my original post as best I can.
I've never felt as if I had a 'numb stick'...but years ago, I started to notice that when my (now) ex-wife would give me oral sex, I felt absolutely nothing on my head. Not at first, anyway. I could detect that she was doing something...I'd look down, and see that while she was attempting to pleasure my head, I felt only the tiniest bit of sensation. Only when close to/after finishing did my head experience any sensitivity.
I looked into this online, and found a post (on a site that no longer exists, unfortunately) in which a guy was talking about rewiring our bodies for pleasure. Changing how our brains detect sexual sensations by switching up the way we masturbate. Using more subtle touch...applying this lighter touch to different areas. Soaking in the pleasure of touch in the moment, instead of being focused on the end goal. Getting away from the 'death grip' that seems to be the norm...the over-stimulation (and thus, desensitization) of the head. It highly interested me, and I jumped right in.
While I'm a midway-or-more CI3 and have a while to go for restoration, I've regained plenty of sensitivity just by changing up my self-pleasuring methods and genital care. Things I've done:
1) Lighter/subtle/more exploratory touch when masturbating. Instead of 'lube up/grip tightly/cum as fast as you can', I began taking my time and focusing on each tiny sensation. Instead of paying the most attention to the head, I began actually avoiding it and utilizing different techniques. Massaging the underside of the shaft just below the head (where the frenulum is or was, depending on your cut) in slow circles. Holding each side of my shaft between fingers and thumb...squeezing lightly on one side, moving the shaft to the other side...then squeezing on that side...sort of a seesaw motion back and forth. Testicle play. Anything but the standard way that most of us cut guys learn when discovering self pleasure. Through this, I started experiencing deeper sensations in my shaft, and the orgasms (when they happened) were different, as if they were originating from somewhere else.
Was it frustrating? Sometimes, sure. Massaging the frenular area only, for instance, can take quite a bit longer to reach climax. But every time I felt frustration, I would pause and refocus, reminding myself that climax wasn't the goal.
During this time, I decided to experiment by avoiding head stimulation altogether for three months. When that three months was up, and I finally eased back into it...whoa. Intense. I can only imagine that it's somewhat similar in intensity to what intact/restored guys feel.
2) Masturbate less frequently. I'm still not always great about this. Some weeks, I find that I'm insatiable. But overall, I self pleasure less often than I used to. No touching for awhile - or at least teasing, without taking it all the way - creates a more satisfying experience once you finally decide to dive in. Over the years, I've gone from masturbating 2 - 3 times a day to 2 - 3 times a week.
3) Use a Fleshlight. Or at least some sort of material/toy/sleeve that isn't your hand. Our hands may appear smooth, but they're actually pretty rough, which can certainly add to any desensitization.
4) Make a habit out of moisturizing. I used to use standard lotions (like Lubriderm), and more recently have been using unrefined coconut oil. Regardless...dried out skin is less sensitive than properly/frequently moisturized skin.
5) Eat well and exercise. Everything in our bodies is related.
Hope this info turns out to be helpful to some!
I've never felt as if I had a 'numb stick'...but years ago, I started to notice that when my (now) ex-wife would give me oral sex, I felt absolutely nothing on my head. Not at first, anyway. I could detect that she was doing something...I'd look down, and see that while she was attempting to pleasure my head, I felt only the tiniest bit of sensation. Only when close to/after finishing did my head experience any sensitivity.
I looked into this online, and found a post (on a site that no longer exists, unfortunately) in which a guy was talking about rewiring our bodies for pleasure. Changing how our brains detect sexual sensations by switching up the way we masturbate. Using more subtle touch...applying this lighter touch to different areas. Soaking in the pleasure of touch in the moment, instead of being focused on the end goal. Getting away from the 'death grip' that seems to be the norm...the over-stimulation (and thus, desensitization) of the head. It highly interested me, and I jumped right in.
While I'm a midway-or-more CI3 and have a while to go for restoration, I've regained plenty of sensitivity just by changing up my self-pleasuring methods and genital care. Things I've done:
1) Lighter/subtle/more exploratory touch when masturbating. Instead of 'lube up/grip tightly/cum as fast as you can', I began taking my time and focusing on each tiny sensation. Instead of paying the most attention to the head, I began actually avoiding it and utilizing different techniques. Massaging the underside of the shaft just below the head (where the frenulum is or was, depending on your cut) in slow circles. Holding each side of my shaft between fingers and thumb...squeezing lightly on one side, moving the shaft to the other side...then squeezing on that side...sort of a seesaw motion back and forth. Testicle play. Anything but the standard way that most of us cut guys learn when discovering self pleasure. Through this, I started experiencing deeper sensations in my shaft, and the orgasms (when they happened) were different, as if they were originating from somewhere else.
Was it frustrating? Sometimes, sure. Massaging the frenular area only, for instance, can take quite a bit longer to reach climax. But every time I felt frustration, I would pause and refocus, reminding myself that climax wasn't the goal.
During this time, I decided to experiment by avoiding head stimulation altogether for three months. When that three months was up, and I finally eased back into it...whoa. Intense. I can only imagine that it's somewhat similar in intensity to what intact/restored guys feel.
2) Masturbate less frequently. I'm still not always great about this. Some weeks, I find that I'm insatiable. But overall, I self pleasure less often than I used to. No touching for awhile - or at least teasing, without taking it all the way - creates a more satisfying experience once you finally decide to dive in. Over the years, I've gone from masturbating 2 - 3 times a day to 2 - 3 times a week.
3) Use a Fleshlight. Or at least some sort of material/toy/sleeve that isn't your hand. Our hands may appear smooth, but they're actually pretty rough, which can certainly add to any desensitization.
4) Make a habit out of moisturizing. I used to use standard lotions (like Lubriderm), and more recently have been using unrefined coconut oil. Regardless...dried out skin is less sensitive than properly/frequently moisturized skin.
5) Eat well and exercise. Everything in our bodies is related.
Hope this info turns out to be helpful to some!
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