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Chastised by Therapist for Restoration

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  • Chastised by Therapist for Restoration

    I recently went in for a regularly scheduled therapy session, with nothing in particular in mind to talk about. I had mentioned circumcision and restoration to her in the past, and she seemed to be mostly against circumcision, and didn't have much to say about my restoration. In this session I tried to bring up my most recent restoration status with her. At first she proceeded to call circumcision a human rights violation. But as I talked about my restoration status more, she proceeded to ask if I had talked with a doctor about it, which I hadn't. I tried to tell her that most doctors were ignorant of restoration, and the natural penile anatomy in general, and that I probably knew far more about restoration than the average doctor, but she continued to argue with me (A trait she has shown considerably in past sessions). Then she brought up a point that was poorly constructed, but which I think may be of interest to the members of this forum. She tried to tell me that I was fine as I was, and did not need to restore. She even brought up the idea that if I were to marry a Jewish woman, she might not have me unless I was circumcised. This strikes me as insulting, as if one's partner should be the arbiter of what your genitals look like. I would venture a guess that she would not have the same logic about men getting to decide a woman's worth based on the presence of her clitoral hood. Then again, her opinions on male circumcision are wildly inconsistent, as you can tell, so who knows.

    What struck me as a good example of self-acceptance done wrong was when she attempted to convince me that there was nothing wrong with me being circumcised. I virulently defended myself, and insisted that circumcision was harmful, and that I was taking steps to go through a healing process to repair some of the damage. On one hand, she's right in the sense that circumcised men have nothing to be ashamed of. For most of us, it was done without our consent as infants. But the way she went about it was entirely wrong. Rather than showing compassion for victims of circumcision, she decided to sweep the pain under the rug by appealing to cultural tradition, and the fact that there are people who are in favor of it, while simultaneously trying to mask it under the guise of self-acceptance.

    The thing is, I do "accept" my body the way it is. I had no choice in the matter. And though I know I will never feel pleasure in the same way I would be able to had I been left intact, I have long since accepted that this will not be the case, in the same way a person who has had part of their finger amputated in an accident will hopefully, with time, learn to live with it and accept their bodies the way they are. But I'm willing to bet such people would still give anything to have their amputated organ back; even a facsimile, such is the case with restoration. You can accept who you are while also acknowledging that a terrible thing happened to you. That nuance was something that seemed to escape her.

    Ultimately, that was my last session. This and many other incidents of an unsupportive, disrespectful, and unempathic attitude in our sessions drove this patient to other sources. I should also note that my previous therapist before this one was very supportive of my restoration. How I wish she was still practicing.

    Anyway, I thought this might be of some interest to many on this forum. I for one, will not let anyone else make decisions about what my body will be like ever again.

  • #2
    Wow sounds like a recent argument I had with a female. They don’t understand. That’s really it. In these days parents circumcise because it’s trending. The girl argued me down that it’s easy to get an infection and just throwing stuff she read online at me as if she’s the one with a penis. It was very laughable. I honestly think the two of these women had personal issues with foreskin.

    Also she denied having a “hood” which tickled me even more.

    I’ve noticed there are quite a bit of people around who dislike foreskin. As of now only my partner and this forum know of my restoration.

    People are ignorant. Very ignorant. Anyway keep on tugging !!!! Forget them ! It’s your body, your choice.


    • #3
      Good for you ditching that therapist. She's not doing her job right. The whole point of therapy is to relieve anxiety, and here she is trying to make you anxious about potential judgment over your foreskin. Fuck that!


      • #4
        Thanks for sharing. I think it can help others navigate what sounds a like a tricky situation. It sounds like you are clear headed and thoughtful, good characteristics in a situation like that.



        • #5
          I agree with greg. Therapy, including pharmacological therapy, is never a one size fits all situation. If the two parties don't "fit" then it's time to move on, find another therapist. You have to demonstrate to yourself that this is true over time, ie multiple sessions, before you move on, and it sounds like you did exactly that.


          • #6
            Yeah, ditch the bitch! Sounds like she was giving you lip service all along. You should file a formal complaint with the proper board. Find her web page and give her a bad review at the minimum. Quite a while ago I talked with a "therapist" and got the usual cognitive dissonance shit. He tried to spin it around on me as though there was something wrong with me for being dissatisfied with being circumcised. I asked him if he was cut. Answer was..........yes. Go figure. I immediately told him to fuck off.