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Partner's Circ Ruining Sex Life

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  • Partner's Circ Ruining Sex Life

    I am wondering if anyone has experience with shaft skin that chafes, gives a burning sensation and subsequently scars afterward. This happened to my partner and it dramatically reduces our ability to enjoy sex. I also fear it will prevent him from tolerating any restoration methods, and he will require tape to begin with...
    Last edited by WoundedBird; 02-10-2019, 05:06 AM. Reason: delete post will repost when thoughts are sorted

  • #2
    Sorry to hear of this struggle.

    The only shaft skin issue I can recall was years before restoring. One day I noticed a skin tag about 4mm long hanging off the scar line. Over the course of a couple days I picked at and it fell off. Then within a month I noticed it had grown back. I fiddled with it some more and it again went away. It hadn't come back in 5 or so years before I started restoring, nor in the 18 years since I started.
    -Ron Low
    [email protected]
    847 414-1692 Chicago


    • #3
      I am not sure I understand what you are asking. Your partner gets chafing on his shaft, which results in a burning sensation and scars? Under what conditions does this occur? How frequently?

      You think that if he tries to restore, the tugging will cause this to happen? That sounds unlikely based on my experience, but perhaps he has an unusual skin condition? Has he seen a doctor about this? If so, what was the diagnosis?

      Sorry you and he are having to struggle with this.



      • #4
        I had written a long, rambling post and decided to truncate it this morning. Thank you for your response.

        My partner's penis is totally sealed shut from scar tissue at this point. He always had "buried penis" from being obese and tightly cut. He has no keratin on his glans or inner foreskin due to this, and so is as sensitive sexually as possible - for oral sex. Often during oral sex his shaft has become enflamed and extremely painful. I think all of this has a lot to do with him yanking on the tiny bit of remaining shaft skin when he masturbates. I told him to stop doing that somehow, but he did not. Two times we tried for anal penetration, both times he exclaimed that it felt wonderful, only to have agonizing pain on his shaft within a minute or two, followed by redness and swelling. Due to these incidents, we gave up on that sexual expression.

        As aforementioned, he has now developed iatrogenic phimosis - his buried penis is now ALWAYS buried, due to thick, white, insensitive scar tissue that developed to the fore of his glans and trapped his entire penis inside. He can't have sex at all at this point. He is going to use steroid cream and a silicone ring set to try to cure the phimosis. Still, this all leads me to doubt highly his ability to ever use a restoration device. Our relationship is wonderful in most ways, he is a brilliant and extremely loving man...but I am not sure I can resign myself to a sexless life...or a sex life that is extremely limited, as it has been the last five years. I don't think what he is experiencing is a very common phenomena, but I figure he can't be the only one. I wonder what we can do to remedy our issues.

        P.S. He did see a urologist. The man suggested re-circumcising him and then prescribed him a steroid cream. I would like to find an intelligent and informed urologist to help us eventually but circumstances prevent that right now. Of course, in the US finding a foreskin-friendly doctor is difficult but we will try. For the most part, like with all of these issues, it seems like we are on our own.


        • #5
          Thanks for the further information, that helps a lot. I cannot recall anyone else reporting something like this. I am glad he has seen a doctor about it, that is what I would do. And, I agree that a doctor suggesting circumcision would raise a red flag, unless he also diagnosed a health condition that required circumcision as the only effective treatment and without treatment things would get worse. Even then, I would find another urologist and/or dermatologist for second opinions.

          You might try contacting Doctors Opposing Circumcision, they might have a referral service, or list of foreskin friendly doctors.

          Best wishes for getting this resolved.


          • #6
            Thank you for your input and well-wishes Greg. I will contact Doctor's Opposing Circumcision.

            It is sad, because my partner always has lacked fine-touch sensitivity, it seems his mohel decided to carve his frenulum off entirely, intentionally. He still says he feels strong pleasure there, but I was promiscuous in my youth, and know that what he feels is substantially less than a man with ridged tissue remaining. The scar-tissue is so thick I fear I will never be able to have sex with him again.

            Circumcision is the gift that just keeps on giving.

            He had no underlying issues which would warrant further circumcision. He was VERY tightly cut. We are fortunate that they left more inner foreskin than many hospital-cut men, and so his inner foreskin-remnant, devoid of keratin, is quite sensitive. If we are even able to free his penis again using steroid cream and silicone stretchers, since he is in the process of losing weight he may become totally exposed and therefore keratinized, If that happens he won't even feel oral sex much, if at all. I am more than upset about all of this, Apparently masturbating for hours at a time by yanking his tiny shaft-skin remnant caused this. I don't even know if we can get the scar-tissue to break-down and heal. And I highly doubt we will receive proper medical advice, but we will try...


            • #7
              I hope you get the advice and treatment that helps.

              You may be a bit too pessimistic in your predictions about the future condition. I was cut tight, and as far as I can tell, my frenulum was completely removed. I was left with very little inner skin, say 1/4 inch. After growing sufficient skin, I learned what a real (whole body) orgasm felt like and it is a total game changer. If someone cut like me can gain that much improvement, there is some hope at least. Plus, given that your partner is overweight, his skin has shown the ability to successfully grow in response to tension. I am not trying to dismiss the difficulty and problems your partner, and you for that matter, are facing, but rather to simply say there can be some hope for the future being better.

              Best wishes


              • #8
                Getting him to lose weight is a great first step. Since the primary cause of a buried penis is excess fat, removing some of that belly fat can only help.


                • #9
                  Yes, we are going to do that. Unfortunately, when he loses lots of weight his penis will be exposed again - that is, after we remove the scar tissue which is independent of the original buried-penis issue - and he will keratinize. Then our sex life will be non-existent because he has no fine-touch receptors left and the non-keratinized nature of his inner foreskin and glans is what allows him to enjoy oral sex from me. We plan on restoring together (I stopped years ago after gaining minimal skin, keeping things shut with a tape-ring since then to retain sensitivity) and it won't be easy given he was cut extremely tightly. *SIGH* But yes...excuse my verbosity but I want to make my situation clear. We have undergone a ketogenic diet together in the past, me mostly for neurological benefits and him for weight, and he lost tons of weight. We will be doing that again. After he finally uses the steroid cream and silicone stretching rings to try to relieve the phimosis, I will be looking for information on how to help him restore given how tightly he was cut.

                  And thank you for the encouragement, greg_b. My partner actually has a decent amount of inner foreskin - it is shaft skin of which he seems almost totally devoid. Thanks, Russian mohel!