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Keeping Motivation

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  • Keeping Motivation

    How do you successful restorers manage to keep the motivation going for years? I am a bit atypical (I have high functioning autism and ADD), so I have a handful of obsessive interests that I cycle through, with each lasting around 1 to 2 months.
    When something becomes an obsession (currently circumcision grief and restoring my foreskin), it's on my mind constantly from the time I wake up to the time I go to bed.

    I did start restoring last year, but inevitably gave it up after 3 months of no visible progress, and then one of my other obsessions took over which made me apathetic about foreskin. I understand that this takes years and I'm afraid that I will lose interest again soon. If only I could spend 3 days tugging non-stop and have that stimulate growth for a whole month, but unfortunately, biology doesn't work that way.

    I need some tips on how to get through the times when you feel that restoration is a pointless waste of time.

  • #2

    I think many of us share your dilemma or motivational challenges. For me, (I’ve also got a bit of ADD and OCD going on). While it’s easy for me to become distracted, I try not to obsess too much about it (I know…much easier said than done), plus I‘ve also been taking a mild anti depressant, which helps to keep my mood uplifted. I know that pre occupying my time with other things such as my career objectives, jobs, etc does help to keep me from overly obsessing about my slow restoration efforts. However, I don’t beat myself up for missing a day or more of tugging, I tell myself not to focus on any particular goal. Instead, I just get into a regular daily routine of tugging and doing so with ever increasing amounts of tension, weight as well as spacers on my TLC-X. It’s pretty easy to keep within a ‘comfort zone’ of ‘comfortable tension/weight, etc’, while forgetting that in order for growth to take place, I need to keep challenging my skin tube so it keeps growing. The way I look at it is similar to what I practiced back in my high school weight lifting room. If I don’t continuously challenge my muscles, they have little or no reason to change or grow in size. So I try to apply this concept to my restoration efforts. I’ve also just resigned myself that this will be an continuous process for the foreseeable future and beyond.


    • #3
      The way I approach restoration is with this attitude, I want to regrow my foreskin as a result of wanting that I got my self into the habit (which all expert say it takes 4 to 6 months to create new habits) of every morning I apply one of my tugging devices, most of the time it is the TLC tugger with leg strap and just go about my day wearing it for 10-12 hours a day, I am currently on my 45th month of tugging which I have seen much progress in that time which has resulted in reliable flaccid coverage with some overhang. When I first started I took pictures monthly, measured FEC every month, logged my progress on a spreadsheet, these things were encouraging as I could see result on paper and when comparing photos of past months to current months. I stopped these at about 36 months as I found no more use for these. I now look at what coverage I have when erect, do I have more bunching up behind the suclus of the corona, gliding action of the foreskin and how it feels when masturbating or during sex, this things tell me the real progress I am making. At current rate of grow I most likely have about 3-4 more year of tugging to have partly erect coverage, restoration takes years not days or months so I just keep tugging every day and treat putting on my tugging devices like anything else I do every day( getting dressed, showering, feeding myself, going to work, etc) it just something that has to be done, if I don't do it nothing is going to happen. Keep tugging and don't think about it, just let it become a daily habit .


      • #4
        When I first heard of and tried restoring (around 10 years ago) I gave up after about a month or two of minimal progress.
        On my current run (3 months of daily work on it) I've come to realise that part of the reason I gave up before was setting my expectations too high - granted, this is somewhat different from the challenge you face, but maybe this will have enough of an overlap to be useful.
        My first mistake was overestimating my starting point. I've never had the painful erections that some people describe, and initially thought myself to be a CI2-3, but it's become apparent that I'm now around that level and started at CI-1. This had a knock-on effect of using a device too early, when I didn't have enough slack skin to get much under tension (with most of my stretchable skin being in the device to keep it on) so progress was very slow. This led to not seeing much/any progress, which was a huge demotivator.
        The reason this came up again recently was that I started using a TLC-X, which perhaps helped with inner skin tension, but still had a lot of outer skin under no tension. Trying to wear a strap with this was uncomfortable at best. I think part of the issue that led to this was that all available application videos feature men in already late stages of restoration.
        I just hit my 3rd month yesterday, and I looked closely at the current state and compared with pictures I took 3 months ago, and noticed very little had changed. By my maths, expecting between 3mm and 9mm (derived from reading about others' progress) after tugging for 8-10 hours per day and not getting it, I had to revisit my technique. I've now properly embraced manual tugging (after reading that Tally had ~4mm/month using it), and will stick with it for another couple of months, before revisiting.
        The point of that explanation was that despite slow/no progress, changing techniques seemed to help, and remembering where I'm going keeps the flame burning. I'm a naturally very impatient person, and am prone to giving up early on things that don't seem to be working, but instead of giving up on restoration entirely, I channeled that frustration into trying a new approach to get there. Whether it works or not remains to be seen.
        Also, as Gundog says, try not to think too much about it. It's going to be hard if you focus the way you do, but try to consider it a challenge - if you find yourself agonising over it, use that as a trigger to find something else to try shifting your focus to. It's so easy to notice for hours on end, to put the time in and to constantly be on the lookout for any sign of progress, but that is something that will hold you back - not just with foreskin restoration. You'll be much more relaxed if you can find something else to focus attention on while keeping this going in the background.


        • #5
          I'm exactly the same. My problem is that when I'm focused on a project, having a tugger on is unbearably distracting and I have to take it off. This is a problem because the only way I've ever gotten any growth at all was to wear tension all day, every day. It's frustrating because manual tugging is super easy for me, but it does nothing whatsoever. I eventually gave up on wearing devices and just manual tugged for over two years... absolutely zero progress.

          I ended up quitting, because being uncomfortable and distracted by a device for the next 10+ years is not worth it to me.

          You should give manual tugging a fair shot though... Some guys get great results from it. My skin is just exceptionally stubborn.


          • #6
            Motivation is impossible to have everyday, even when you want something. Replace motivation with discipline and routine. Make it a habit and your body will respond. Best wishes on your journey.


            • #7
              I'm at a little over five years. At this point, I have restored enough glans sensitivity that I can't go without something covering it. When I don't feel like applying and managing a device for the day, I still use some retaining method, usually a DTR retainer. Except commando pajama pants or sleeping in nothing, I _can't_ go uncovered or it starts to hurt in a hurry.

              I'm very much a grower, so when at max flaccid, I've got admirable coverage where there was zero before. When even the slightest bit aroused, glans is not covered, and nobody but me would know that I've been restoring for years.

              All this to say, keep your eye on the goal and celebrate small milestones along the way. If you don't feel like actively restoring for a while, I believe that just keeping it covered will help to restore sensitivity, and that in itself can be a great motivator.


              • #8
                I guess once I can get to CI-4 and have firsthand proof that this is working, it will motivate me more.


                • #9
                  Right on…KOT!


                  • #10
                    I compare it to working out, or doing anything for the long run that you see minimal, slow results with. Make it a habit, and focus on the actual act of tugging as little as possible. It’s the only way that I can “stick to it” is just to not focus on it very much at all, and just tell yourself you have to fo this.. forced behaviors over periods of time create habit.


                    • #11
                      Keep coming to this site to talk about restoring. That way, it will remain on your mind, and we can all support you in your efforts.


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Opto-mystic View Post
                        Motivation is impossible to have everyday, even when you want something. Replace motivation with discipline and routine. Make it a habit and your body will respond. Best wishes on your journey.
                        completely agree with this - habit is a must - put restoring on auto pilot is the key.

                        Knowing visible weekly progress is not easily seen I give myself short term (sometimes not so short) goals. I’ve been a on and off again restorer for many years - when I get back to restoration I decide to stick with it for a period of time - at least 3 months . Frequently I’ll extend my goal before I get to it. After a many year hiatus I picked it back up 1/2020 with only about a 1 month break since and progress has been significant. I’ve met my flaccid full coverage goal, now I’m just getting greedy 😀


                        • #13
                          I also have diagnosed ADD and no formal diagnosis but several people close to me who have suggested that I have Asperger's, so I am quite similar, Bagpipe. As to your question, I think it depends on a lot of factors: where you are in your life, whether you're in a relationship, what your partner thinks of your goal, and your method of tugging just off the top of my head.

                          When I was just starting out with T-taping and didn't know very well what I was doing, using inelastic threads to hold the tape up and sort of awkwardly going about my business until the tape came off and I was left with a weird duct tape necklace swinging about under my shirt until I could excuse myself to the bathroom, restoration seemed like a far-off foreign concept. Likewise, when I was in a long relationship with someone who supported my tugging, much as I had the support I needed to tug, we also had a very active sex life and it felt burdensome to tug when it often meant I would have to follow up later that night with, "Sorry, my penis is out of commission for now." When I was in school or working, I was too busy to tug much, even with the passive methods.

                          What has worked great for me lately is being unemployed and having no excuse not to do it. I listen to a podcast that runs twice a week for an hour and while I listen to it, I use manual methods to tug somewhat aggressively. Restoring is my secondary activity in those times, so it's not as if I'm bored or have to schedule my tugging sessions in advance (ADD wreaks havoc on those plans). Instead, I just look forward to listening to the podcast and that is my time to tug. This is less likely to work for you if you have an otherwise busy schedule or prefer to listen to podcasts while driving. For what it's worth, if you prefer television or movies, those would be good times to tug as well.

                          As for motivation, as others have said, finding success is fantastic. In winter of 2005, I woke up and went to the bathroom to see my foreskin holding nicely over my glans for the first time. It really made me feel great and gave me the impetus to tug more at a time when I was becoming discouraged. I've come a long way since then and just this morning I hopped in the shower and admired that I had a wonderful pucker and more acroposthion than I'd ever seen before. For perhaps the first time, I looked genuinely intact to my own eyes. I think both instances were helped by the cold weather and so I know my journey isn't done yet, but progress has been surprisingly fast with my manual tugging methods and it is a great feeling in contrast to the violation I felt and a lingering fear that I might forever look down to see mutilated genitals that I never consented to having.

                          So as a brief summary, although there may be healthy differing perspectives, I recommend:
                          • Manual tugging as opposed to using devices (although I am happy to own a TLC-X and use it in a semi-manual method).
                          • Tug twice a week for an hour each time.
                          • Tug aggressively, not to the point of pain, but to moderate discomfort.
                          • Never tug if you are feeling significant discomfort before starting a session. My penis feels "normal" when I start a session and if it doesn't, I skip that session. This is doubly true if I have any sort of cuts, lesions, or potential skin tears-- problems that are visual, not just tactile.
                          • Retain when you aren't tugging. I didn't want to at first, but I think it helps remind me of my goal to return to an intact state. Also, I openly wonder if the retaining cone might hold the foreskin ever so slightly taut after a tugging session (as opposed to allowing the skin to slack back), helping growth just a little bit.
                          • Keep this regimen up for about six months.
                          • Give yourself permission to take time off. If the six months aren't continuous, it should be fine. I've been going at this for close to 20 years and estimate only maybe four of those years have had active tugging of any sort, perhaps less than two years with more effective methods.
                          • Admire your progress! If you've stuck with it for six months, you should be at least starting to see progress, already at a CI-3 or CI-4. Looking down to see your skin covering your corona is a fantastic milestone. Take pictures, if you think it will help.
                          • Use that motivation to keep going! There's open speculation that tugging may go faster as you get farther along. I'm sort of undecided on that matter (there's a significant hurdle at around CI-4), but it definitely feels like progress has been rapid as I've gotten farther along. I still mentally classify my progress as at minimum a CI-4, but this morning's shower was conservatively a CI-8, maybe CI-9. My goal is to feel like I'm at CI-9 all the time, having almost no time when my glans is exposed and needing minimal effort to bring my foreskin forward if it accidentally retracts. How great it would be to never need to wear a cone and to be as intact as one can reasonably be considering our history.
                          As I said, I've been doing this for a long 20 years. If the resources available today had been available to me back when I started or if I could go back in time to give myself the above advice, I think I'd have been done with my journey 10 or even 15 years ago. But ultimately, I don't really have any regrets and, as they say, the best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago, the second best time is today.