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  • Medical articles pertaining to restoration

    Hey guys so my wife is avidly against restoring and i have restarted my journey only to meet the biggest snag of the entire journey. She is in medicine and simple testimonials alone wont do. I was wondering if there were professional documents talking about it, as opposed to webmd because if i take that to her it would only make her mad. She frequently gets people who say well i looked on webmd. I have seen plenty of testimonials and picture progression on here which has helped me immensely, but she thinks that getting more skin would not make it more pleasurable for me after being at ci2 for all my adult life, she thinks it will be painful to restore which i talked till i was blue in the face over, and she doesnt think that dk is possible without a skin graft, which i mean i was at ci4 when married and she wouldnt believe that my head is actually softer but not fully dk'ed because im not 7-8. I mean im glad im not fully dk because it would be painful at a 4. Thank you for reading my rambling and sorry for the hyper specific question, but i cant hide it from her much longer, and would like to at least present this to her and leave her be till she makes her decision.

  • #2
    On the flip side, can she find any bona-fide medical evidence that shows harm will be done. My wife wasn't too keen on me starting to restore. Now that she has seen the results she is really supportive of my effort. I wear my devices around the house now. She loves seeing me buck naked....even with a device.

    Does she have pierced ears? Will she need your permission if she lets the ears go back to the original state?

    I did talk with my wife about how I had been robbed of part of my God given and functional manhood without my approval just after birth. I think that led to an understanding of the why.

    Check Out My Progress Gallery Presently a CI-8
    Photo Gallary
    My Taoism practice began with the owner's manual.
    The owner's manual to the male human body!
    May the (tugging) force be with you! A good salutation: YIFR (yours in foreskin restoration).

    Comment


    • #3
      Well, it sounds like she is biased, so you may have a tough time opening her mind. And, of course, there are many doctors highly biased against foreskin, and the major medical associations in the US present highly biased information. I see several lines of logic that might help her see things more objectively. But yes, you need more than Webmed.

      First, it sounds like she thinks the foreskin has little value. She is not alone in that. But there is evidence that indicates that is probably wrong.

      Second, she seems to think that restoration is painful and risky. There is a lot of evidence that is not true, but then not in medical journals, so she needs to articulate what evidence would give her confidence that it is safe.

      Third, she seems to think that your bodily autonomy is up for discussion. There are many things we might choose to do, and in the end, whether our spouse agrees or not is a philosophical question.

      I think the best treatment of these subjects have been the following, partly because they include references she would be able to follow up with:

      Doctors Opposing Circumcision | Facts About Circumcision

      Long-term adverse outcomes from neonatal circumcision reported in a survey of 1,008 men: an overview of health and human rights implications: The International Journal of Human Rights: Vol 21, No 2 (tandfonline.com)

      Psychological and neurological impacts of circumcision (cirp.org)

      The AAP report on circumcision: Bad science + bad ethics = bad medicine | Practical Ethics (ox.ac.uk)

      I would also suggest that you would benefit from having some tools for keeping dialogue going. An excellent book on that skill is Crucial Conversations. I highly recommend it. It is tailor made to the type of discussion you need to have:

      Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High, Third Edition: Grenny, Joseph, Patterson, Kerry, McMillan, Ron, Switzler, Al, Gregory, Emily: 9781260474183: Amazon.com: Books

      I find your last bit troubling. It is not the best position to be in that you have been hiding this from her. You might want to factor that into how you approach things with her.

      For me, and what I did, was when I found out about restoration, I told her and presented it as something that caught me by surprise in terms of how strongly it made me feel. That I felt compelled to give it a try. My wife was concerned about the risk, I assured her I would be careful, and would just test the waters carefully, then see how that went.

      All that said, your bodily rights were taken away from you, and you have an opportunity to do something positive to recover some of that, and restore some of the very important feelings and functions that a foreskin provides for both you and her. That would be my central point, and that would be the thing I go back to each time something causes the discussion to stray.

      Hope that was helpful. It is hard to get specific without a better understanding of her specific concerns. Feel free to follow up with more discussion.

      Best wishes,

      Comment


      • #4
        Thank you for all the support. She actually brought it up last night. Her concern is that it will become less enjoyable with more skin, potential worst case scenario's, and doesnt think that the glans can dk or that getting full falacid coverage would really change anything about sex

        Comment


        • #5
          What would be interesting is to know why she is so avidly against it: what are her arguments? We shouldn't be impressed by the fact that someone is working in the health care field. People can sometimes have a bit of a tunnel vision of the situation.

          I've been around nurses who were against the COVID-19 vaccine with an argument that seemed to me to be more of a yes-saying attitude. (I'm not sure if this last expression has been adequately translated!)

          In your context, I guess it requires being strong and continuing to believe in what is right for you. Hopefully this situation won't be a source of conflict between you two!

          Good luck!​

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Twistigoos View Post
            Thank you for all the support. She actually brought it up last night. Her concern is that it will become less enjoyable with more skin, potential worst case scenario's, and doesnt think that the glans can dk or that getting full falacid coverage would really change anything about sex
            Thanks for the update. Concerning her apparent fears, which I assume are centered on whether her sexual enjoyment will become less, worst cases she can imagine, refusing to accept evidence that the built up dry and/or calloused skin can become dekeratinized, and that the foreskin changes sexual feelings and functions; it might be good for you to try and dig deeper. Given that she seems to be saying that without support from high quality peer review journal articles, she will stick with her fears, you might try and explore, in a supportive way as you can, where her fears come from. What is the supporting hard science literature she has that supports her fears?

            For example, most of the literature she has read probably says the foreskin does nothing. Has no value. Sex is the same with or without a foreskin. Well, if she accepts that, then why does she fear something like a restored foreskin will make things worse for her sexually? Where is the hard science she has found that says foreskins make things worse? I have only seen irrational fears, myself, but then I don't go around searching for stuff arguing that line of thinking. By gently probing, you may get her to open her mind enough to realize she is being non-scientific, and has no support, just fear. That is quite normal, by the way, so you need to work with her to overcome those fears, as much as you can.

            I can give a non scientific anecdote form my experience, that may be worthwhile for you to keep in your back pocket. When I started restoring, my wife also feared not only that I would injure myself, but the sex would become less enjoyable. And, if you knew my wife, she is a worrier, so even though she recognized that I would try it and be careful, she still worried. so it was a big surprise when, after a few months, after intercourse, she was like, "Wow, what's going on, this felt so much better!" Even a little skin made it a lot better for her.

            I can also add that she needed multiple applications of lube every time we had intercourse...until I got enough skin that she didn't need any! That mobile skin is valuable. Here is another site that sounds too preachy for my taste, but does have some references, specifically for the advantages of foreskin:

            PDF Version of Sex As Nature Intended It by Chapters

            One last thing I will leave you with. It may be worth carefully and objectively looking at the big picture of worse case scenarios with her, and thinking about the consequences. Say you and she come up with twos scenarios: 1) the restoration results in reduced sexual pleasure, vs 2) restoration results in improved sexual pleasure. Simplify it so that it is sexual pleasure for both of you, but you could break it down for each of you, if that helps with the discussion. But go with the general, you both have the same experience, good or bad.

            Scenario 1:
            First consider the scenario she says she fears, that sexual pleasure declines as a result of restoring. You got more skin, but sex sucks. Easy solution, get circumcised again. I am not saying you will want to, just that there is an easy solution. Get circumcsied again, and all is back to the way it was.

            Now consider the alternative scenario, sex is better with restoring. Fantastic, she has better sex, you have better sex, and you both are very happy you took the time and trouble, and she tolerated the risk of restore, because the payoff for that risk was so much better sexual feelings.

            Scenario 2:
            Now consider the flip side. Her fear keeps you from restoring. The key question, since nothing will change, is are you currently having sex that sucks, but you don't realize it, since you have nothing to compare it with? Or, are you having better sex than you would if you restored, but since you didn't restore you won't know? No way to tell, of course, you both could be living with sex that sucks, but too bad, you are stuck with that. Or you could be having better sex than you would have with restoring, but you can't know that either. So imaginations and resentment can run wild, but there will be no resolution.

            Change is hard for most people, and fears have a way of making it hard to consider alternatives.

            Best wishes

            Comment


            • #7
              If it were me/my wife, I would tell her if I told her at all only because I don't look at my SO for permission to do things that are totally my business and authority over.

              1. It's my choice not yours
              2. As a medical professional she should understand that no skin graft is required as skin expansion through Mitosis using traction is practiced all the time in said skin graph ting techniques, and this restoration business has been around since roman times and is well documented as a treatment for MGM
              3. DK can and does happen and did for me.
              4. It does take persistence and a degree of gentleness because yes it is thinner skin more easy to damage but again my choice not yours and for me at least it has been about undoing a choice made for me by well intentioned people "My parents" which I disagree with and am taking back control from that choice and has improved sense of autonomy and control and I do think has improved my sex live as I went from CI2/3ish to now about whatever full flaccid cover would be under all temperature variations.

              I ran across my medical consent form that my mother signed to have me circumcised, I felt and feel no anger towards her, just dismay that she didn't stick up for me, nor do I feel badly towards my father who was intact who advocated for it and paid the $200 needed back in the 80's as even then our state medical insurance stopped covering the procedure as a non medically necessary procedure, He likely suffered body shaming in his life to feel this way as it's not generally apart of our family or culture to circumcise and had some infection issues that were likely due to forced retraction in his early life, and projected those fears on me. When I achieved reliable and full flaccid coverage, I destroyed that paper, it felt good. So for me overall, nothing but plusses though it has been a long journey.

              Comment


              • #8
                ...Avidly against foreskin...she's in medicine...downplays that a non-medical person can know anything about the body...

                Reading between the lines, i'm seeing that she's likely some flavor of a Nurse or Doctor? There are probably another couple layers of denial beyond the cultural conditioning there. Most going through med school have to perform infant male genital mutilation as part of sterile field and surgical training. It's considered a practice Surgery, but since EVERY SINGLE ONE of them are ALL botch jobs, it's even 'low-risk' of it going horrible enough to ever get in any trouble over. If she'd done any, definately not going to want to admit how awful it really is.

                Maybe find the writings of Dr John Harvey Kellogg, he was the big proponent that made it go mainstream. At least we aren't also still burning genitals with acid...

                "Her concern is that it will become less enjoyable with more skin, potential worst case scenario's, and doesnt think that the glans can dekeritinize, or that getting full flaccid coverage would really change anything about sex " ....for her. Yep, nature totally evolved the penis to not work the best way possible. Can chapped or calloused skin return to soft & supple anywhere else on the body? Growing skin is such a slow process you've got plenty of time to evaluate and reconsider things.

                Uh, if she can make you not try restoring your skin, can you have her try keeping her clitoral hood retracted? Then she can try out some of the same "benefits" without the permanent disfigurement. (My wife really understood a lot more one time when we were playing a little with vaccum pumping, and after coming out of the cylinder her clit was too big for her hood.)
                Saying someone is "Unmutilated" is like saying "Unsweet Tea". So you mean it's just Tea, in its natural state, that nobody has screwed up? It can't be Un- anything

                Comment


                • #9
                  Greg said it best with articles to back it up. I know it's easy to say what you should do when one doesn't have to deal with the repercussions at home but ultimately it's your body and your choice.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Twistigoos View Post
                    i cant hide it from her much longer, and would like to at least present this to her and leave her be till she makes her decision
                    We can't control the behavior of others. We only control our reactions.

                    That's true for her, too. How is she planning on reacting when you explain that it's your body and your decision?
                    -Ron Low
                    [email protected]
                    847 414-1692 Chicago

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      see thats not, in my opinion true because we are married and one flesh. That is why in my religious convictions it is this sensitive of an issue because if she puts her foot down I need to find a way to be ok with that. though she did end up catching me leaving my packing cone in the shower for whattever reason that seemed to be the point that she said she doesnt understand, doesnt fully support it entirely but is ok with me starting the restoration process again. It has been a bumpy road but i have been reading the articles and sharing some with her as well. Very thankful today for the community

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Sounds like a step forward...

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Some relief. Now not so unnerving.
                          Check Out My Progress Gallery Presently a CI-8
                          Photo Gallary
                          My Taoism practice began with the owner's manual.
                          The owner's manual to the male human body!
                          May the (tugging) force be with you! A good salutation: YIFR (yours in foreskin restoration).

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Twistigoos View Post
                            see thats not, in my opinion true because we are married and one flesh. That is why in my religious convictions it is this sensitive of an issue because if she puts her foot down I need to find a way to be ok with that. though she did end up catching me leaving my packing cone in the shower for whattever reason that seemed to be the point that she said she doesnt understand, doesnt fully support it entirely but is ok with me starting the restoration process again. It has been a bumpy road but i have been reading the articles and sharing some with her as well. Very thankful today for the community
                            I think people need to decide whether they wish to be seen as good-hearted and fair-minded or not. It's not restoration she needs to understand, it's genital mutilation.

                            You have been deprived of a 24/7 covering for your glans, which has made your glans and any surviving inner skin dull and dry. Restoring - including wearing your skin over the glans 24/7 forever starting today - will rejuvenate those mucosal surfaces so you'll be more responsive and she'll be less scratched. You have lost the normal amount of slack skin, which has taken a whole (the main) mode of normal sexual stimulation out of the picture. Restoring will let you both put that mode back into your repertoire together. And when you have more slack, less of your hair-bearing skin will be dragged into your partner to abraid a delicate mucosal orifice. You have lost thousands of specialized pleasure-receptive nerve endings. Adding slack skin will allow the surviving nerve endings to respond better - from the bending and straightening of the skin rather during arousal - than you're used to (just due to friction).

                            I simply can't picture a scenario where we discovered my partner was robbed and I would stand in the way of my partner becoming as whole as possible. I mean, picture a husband putting his foot down and demanding that his wife not have any sort of reconstruction after mastectomy due to breast cancer. If you have to consider how to deal with her putting her foot down, why does she not have to consider what to do when you put yours down?
                            -Ron Low
                            [email protected]
                            847 414-1692 Chicago

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Twistigoos View Post
                              I was wondering if there were professional documents talking about it
                              A doctor is quoted extensively in this new article about foreskin restoration.
                              Let's take an uncut look at an online forum where users seek to undo their circumcisions.

                              {https://getmegiddy.com/foreskin-restoration}
                              -Ron Low
                              [email protected]
                              847 414-1692 Chicago

                              Comment

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