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For partners (wives) who just don't 'Get' why this is an issue.

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  • For partners (wives) who just don't 'Get' why this is an issue.

    Over the years i've read *so many* stories of men who were insulted and vebally abused by their 'loving' partners because the man (a man? penis-haver? I don't know your situation.) said he wasn't happy with being a genital mutilation victim, and wanted to improve them self. These are observations and suggestions, mine was only concerned about potential for hurting myself.

    Try to give the partner a little bit of slack since they had likely been exposed to a life time of propaganda, brainwashing, and lies up to that point, likely never having seen an intact male. If they're unwilling or unable to realize the problem after a few moments of reflection, thats some narcicistic or psychopathic behavior. But try to remind yourself you like them.

    If they're a visual learner, Penn & Tellers "Bullshit" did a good episode, "Adam Ruins Everything" also did one. There are several good documentaries if you think that format works better.
    See if you can find pictures of inutero genital tubercle development before and after it splits to be a gender to help show what the equivilent structures are between genders.
    Show them 'The Lost List' of what was taken from you.

    Anyway some people learn better through action or personally experienced things. If they're still being too dense to admit they see even a little bit of a problem with male genital mutilation, you could assist them with learning empathy if they're up for trying a little experiment:

    Have them lay back, then roll their clitoral Hood (foreskin) back off the clitoris (glans) and keep it back while we're experimenting. Softly and gently blow on it for a few minutes until the clit dries out. Maybe lightly brush against her clit with some of her silk or microfiber underwear, maybe use some of the signifigantly rougher mens underwear, maybe a dry finger, rubbing on hair, denim... you probably wont have to mash their clit into your underwear the way your glans grinds into it during erections, before they begin to see why having protective skin is a pretty Good thing.

    Remind them that you're supposed to be as sensitive as they are, but are basically always exposed, dry, and you can't EVER adjust yourself to get comfortable. That you never got to have a say in becoming this way.

    That was just testing the Clit (glans), we didn't even get into how good the nerves in the Hood (foreskin) feel and what all cool stuff they do.

    If they come around to seeing more of your viewpoint on the issue, get back down there and eat that pussy to atleast one orgasm, maybe some g-spot, then go fuck them silly!!! They had personal growth, and its important to use Positive reinforcement!

    Or If she's still not getting the problem, this fight is probably going to go on for a while. Maybe demonstrate how little feeling your glans has to those same things they couldn't tolerate. Maybe back off and give them time to think about things. You are likely contradicting a ton of "lies they've known as truth" for a long time. They may have guilt from supporting mutilation, or even having committed it.

    Try to keep open communication, keep checking in with them. It's a lot to think about, and this knowlege transfer usually comes out as Drinking from the Firehose. Try not to take too much of what awful things they may say personal, it's probably coming from ignorance instead of malice.

    Try and remember that you like each other.
    Saying someone is "Unmutilated" is like saying "Unsweet Tea". So you mean it's just Tea, in its natural state, that nobody has screwed up? It can't be Un- anything

  • #2
    Any one that is hasn't already figured this out, or can't figure it out quickly and rapidly take a hard position that MGM is unacceptable and boys have just as much of right to intact genitals as girls do, is not worth your time. She is a stupid dumb selfish POS that can't handle the notion that males might have gotten the raw and of the deal on something in life, and you don't want to risk her ever doing that to your child behind your back, potentially out of spite. Also being attracted to mutilated genital is mental ill. And I think some women know full well what was lost and like it because they know that you can't get anything out of just playing with yourself like they can, and that gives them more leverage. They think it's funny.

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    • #3
      I am extremely fortunate that my wife defers to me on male genital parts. She does on my restoration, as well as when my son was born - that's why he is uncut. When you make a decision to restore, it really doesn't matter what your wife (or partner) thinks - you are in charge of your body - just like (s)he is in charge of hers(his). It has been my life mission to lead in a positive manner. Endorse good and ignore bad. Help good and don't help bad; you get the idea. Having an argument with your wife about your restoration efforts doesn't accomplish anything good. As a teacher of 35 years, I can tell you without any reservation that people (like my students) learn a little bit at a time. Give too much information and the eyes gloss over and their attention is already onto something else. YOU WON'T EVER WIN SOMEONE OVER IN ONE ARGUMENT even when you think that you did. To us, (restorers) what we are doing is the right thing and circumcision was the wrong thing. We are righting a wrong. It doesn't matter if anyone that you know doesn't agree with you - they are ignorant to the facts and your feelings. People get to do that - disagree - even when we can't figure out their justification or agree with it. YOU have to have the conviction of mind to know the difference between good and bad and go in the direction of good. In education (high school students) I have had my share of students who have DARED ME TO KNOCK THAT CHIP OFF OF THEIR SHOULDER. I won't bite. I get my sandpaper out and gently sand the edges off of that chip that they are so proud of. Sometimes I make a difference and sometimes I don't. Example: I had a student who was contrary on just about everything that I did. I didn't hold it against him and just continued to present the information. As an adult, that student got involved in radio media and interviewed me on the air. He kept apologizing to me about how he behaved as a student. Off the air he shared with me all the things that he was doing in his business that he wouldn't do in school - especially documentation of work. As a student, I couldn't convince him to write. At some point, he saw the need and began to do what I couldn't get him to do in the moment. My point here is that while you are using your sandpaper, don't think it is falling on deaf ears - some people require fine sandpaper over a long period of time to round off that chip on their shoulders. If you resort to ANYTHING negative you are not a leader. Figure out how you can make a difference by leading using positive words. It is OK to not dwell on bad things, especially on people who always disagree with you. I tend to exclude those people from my 'preferred to be with list'. The Amish do it well - they call it shunning. Only the people with the biggest chips on their shoulders get on my Amish list of shun. By the way, they usually won't know what hit them when you decide to shun - because you choose not to associate with them. Consider this when you are so brash about your restoring...you don't need to be insulted by others, you have total control over that emotion. Peace be with you in your restoring....literally. Enjoy it.
      Check Out My Progress Gallery Presently a CI-7
      Photo Gallary
      The owner's manual to the male human body!
      My Taoism practice began with the owner's manual.
      May the (tugging) force be with you! A good salutation: YIFR (yours in foreskin restoration).

      Comment


      • #4
        Reclaimer, while i do agree with you that people like that likely would not be worth your time, if you read around in threads about grief, partners, and asking for help, i think you'll see that there are a lot of men in situations where they have 'WAY TOO MUCH' invested in someone to just hit the parachute ripcord without trying. You can still be absolutely Right, but someone can make you lose everything else that matters. (That's getting way more into the societal 'Red-Pill' rabbit hole of things that are way beyond the scope of this thread)

        I love your passion for our issue. Instead of just yelling in our echo-chamber, I think it could be used more productively for things like: doing protests, angry letters to all of your representitives, putting up billboards, go after insurance companies, go after state sponsored healthcare, angry letters to everyone involved with broadcasting and sponsoring things that are positive or joke about mutilation, dominate social media...

        Besides, you shift a culture 1 person at a time. We still aren't even past having Sitcoms using genital mutilation as a punch-line for a cheap laugh.

        A lot about teaching difficult ones and taking leadership positions is similar to learning how to Herd Cats. I'm much closer to talking out of my ass than EVER trying to pretend i have all the answers.
        Saying someone is "Unmutilated" is like saying "Unsweet Tea". So you mean it's just Tea, in its natural state, that nobody has screwed up? It can't be Un- anything

        Comment


        • #5
          If you love your relationship with a person but can't get your point across with regards to restoration, then the 'shunning' applies only to the topic, not the rest of your relationship. Keep at it with the 'fine sandpaper' over time - who knows - eventually your partner may come around to seeing what you are trying to say. In the mean time, your relationship can still prosper. The old adage 'give some space' allows you to be at peace with your restoration while at the same time loving your partner.
          Check Out My Progress Gallery Presently a CI-7
          Photo Gallary
          The owner's manual to the male human body!
          My Taoism practice began with the owner's manual.
          May the (tugging) force be with you! A good salutation: YIFR (yours in foreskin restoration).

          Comment


          • #6
            The first time I approached the subject with my wife, she didn't understand it. She gradually came around to understanding and now supports me in the effort to restore. Especially with loved ones, patience is required. If the relationship is a parent, same process applies.
            Check Out My Progress Gallery Presently a CI-7
            Photo Gallary
            The owner's manual to the male human body!
            My Taoism practice began with the owner's manual.
            May the (tugging) force be with you! A good salutation: YIFR (yours in foreskin restoration).

            Comment


            • #7
              Me too hv same problem with my wife.she is religious and see circumcison as a religious part so i m doing it without knowing her.it's very difficult to hide these acts to her and doing it manually in night and with tape method in day time without knowing her.

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