Spouse support

[Mr zillow]

I have recently started restoration, and have not told my wife yet. Regardless of how she feels about it, I will continue. Since no one asked me when it was stolen from me, I sure as hell don't need permission to restore it. I was wondering though what spouses think of your restoration, and if they are supportive. Also I was wondering if anyone has any advise on how the discussion should go when I do decide to tell her.

[Swingshiftworker]

I have recently started restoration, and have not told my wife yet. Regardless of how she feels about it, I will continue. Since no one asked me when it was stolen from me, I sure as hell don't need permission to restore it. I was wondering though what spouses think of your restoration, and if they are supportive. Also I was wondering if anyone has any advise on how the discussion should go when I do decide to tell her.

I don't have a spouse anymore and started restoring w/o her knowledge, so I can't tell you what her response might have been. I've read the responses of men and women in this regard and the responses of women mixed. It all depends on the cultural/internal bias of the woman involved. You'd know better than any of us what that might be.

The best way to approach the topic would be to just pick a time when you can talk intimately and at length about the topic. Just lay out your reasons for wanting to do it (both physical and psychological) AND also mention the potential benefits of improved sexual intercourse as a result.

You can look up articles on the Net where women talk about the improved "feel" of sex after their partner has developed enough skin for the "rolling" action to begin; much less friction in the vagina and a better feel in general is reported. You can also show her your tugger (or other device) and how it's worn at this time.

The course of the discussion will depend on her reaction. If it's positive, there's not much more you'll need to say. If it's negative, you'll need to "educate" your spouse about the topic and asking her to read various anti-circ and pro-restoration articles would be the 1st step with more discussion to follow.

Good luck!

[NITRO]

I don't have a spouse anymore and started restoring w/o her knowledge, so I can't tell you what her response might have been. I've read the responses of men and women in this regard and the responses of women mixed. It all depends on the cultural/internal bias of the woman involved. You'd know better than any of us what that might be.

The best way to approach the topic would be to just pick a time when you can talk intimately and at length about the topic. Just lay out your reasons for wanting to do it (both physical and psychological) AND also mention the potential benefits of improved sexual intercourse as a result.

You can look up articles on the Net where women talk about the improved "feel" of sex after their partner has developed enough skin for the "rolling" action to begin; much less friction in the vagina and a better feel in general is reported. You can also show her your tugger (or other device) and how it's worn at this time.

The course of the discussion will depend on her reaction. If it's positive, there's not much more you'll need to say. If it's negative, you'll need to "educate" your spouse about the topic and asking her to read various anti-circ and pro-restoration articles would be the 1st step with more discussion to follow.

Good luck!

QFT

I have a German GF and I live in Germany, one of the many lands of the vastly uncut. She wasn't sure if my sex life was good and questioned why I would do this. Educate. 10 months later we have better sex than in the past in our nearly 3 year relationship. All it takes is education. She will notice a difference with the restoration feeling inside of her. All it takes is time and understanding.

Go for it and don't look back!

[blackazz1981]

My wife was a little weirded out at first but more like shocked because she had no clue that it was a thing, let alone that I had penis issue to this level. After discussing it all and even including her in some of the fun it has proven to be a good investment. She stares at it a lot more and the restoring gives her excuse to be curious about my penis' current status. As mentioned earlier the sex life is evolving.

[mjwise]

My husband is intact, and he was more curious about restoring than anything. He has been very supportive and likes the additional slack. Be open with your spouse/significant other and make it clear that it's something you're doing to improve yourself - it's not a commentary on them or their abilities in the bedroom. At the same time, be clear that you WILL be doing this - I do not think restoration is something that you need ask permission of someone else to do.

[Going Hooded]

I'd suggest you use "I" statements. I am hoping this will keep your wife from going on the defensive.

[ctrclckws]

My wife thinks it is silly, but after the initial reaction just lets me restore.

Our sex life is non-existent but the reason for that is not related to foreskin.

[greg_b]

My wife was concerned about me inadvertently damaging myself and hurting our sex life. I explained I would be careful and needed to try this. Some months later she could feel the difference during intercourse. From there, she became a strong supporter.

My suggestion is that you first read the book Crucial Conversations. I highly recommend it and think it should be required reading. It is all about how to have these type of conversations, and do it well.

Best wishes,

[Mr zillow]

First off, I want to thank everyone who responded to this with their support and advice. All though I don't know you personally, I consider you brothers. I finally had the talk with my wife, and it couldn't have gone better. I started off by telling her about the truth of circumcision, and how violated, and angry I have felt about it. I told her about all of the research I have done on the subject, from the procedure itself to the physiological impact to future erectile disfunction. I even saved numerous articles for her to read. Then I brought up restoration, and as alot of us she didn't even know it was a thing or even possible. I let her know that restoration would benefit both of us. I also let her know that I was going to do this no matter what she thought. She was very intrigued, but also very supportive. It feels good to have a place to go for support, it's also good to have someone personally who supports you. Thanks again guys.

[Going Hooded]

Once you both benefit I bet your wife tells other women and it prevents infants from being circumcised.

[Mr zillow]

I sure hope so.

[Johnrob]

I have recently started restoration, and have not told my wife yet. Regardless of how she feels about it, I will continue. Since no one asked me when it was stolen from me, I sure as hell don't need permission to restore it. I was wondering though what spouses think of your restoration, and if they are supportive. Also I was wondering if anyone has any advise on how the discussion should go when I do decide to tell her.

I first started tugging about 5 years ago. I stopped because I was having a hard time making progress and my new girlfriend at the time said she would never have sex with someone who had foreskin again. She had sex with one guy who was intact and she didn't like it. So I stopped. Now, 6 years later, I started up again. I found my old tugger and have been going strong for about 2 weeks now. I've made good progress. I started only about 1/8" FEC and now am at almost 1/2" FEC.
I didn't know how to tell my girlfriend, that I've been with for 5 years now, that I have started restoring. I told her about how I was circumcised and haven't felt whole. And I told her I have had less and less feeling while having sex over the years. She noticed that I finished faster the last time we had sex and asked me what I have been doing differently. Usually we would have sex for extended periods of time and it would end with her telling me to stop because she was being rubbed raw and was swollen and hurting. Over 50% of the time I would not finish.
I came out and toled her that I've started restoring again and how I have been feeling better and more healthy as I've been growing back my foreskin. Even after just 2 weeks I've had considerable changes in sensitivity. She said that if it's what I really want then she will support me in it.
I said all this to say that it would be best to just come out and tell her. I hope that things workout for you like they have for me.

[Jlgusta81]

My husband doesnt understand either and has cracked a few jokes about me “tugging my dick off”. I know he thinks it takes me forever to climax for psychological reasons. He doesn’t understand the lack of sensitivity. I’m doing what’s right for me and my body. It’s strange but when I’m retaining it’s very comforting. My self esteem is boosted and it feels “right” to have my glans covered. I don’t feel so self conscious somehow. I guess what I’m saying is do what’s right for you and makes you feel good about yourself. Eventually your spouse will see the confidence you gain from it.

[WoundedBird]

My husband doesnt understand either and has cracked a few jokes about me “tugging my dick off”. I know he thinks it takes me forever to climax for psychological reasons. He doesn’t understand the lack of sensitivity. I’m doing what’s right for me and my body. It’s strange but when I’m retaining it’s very comforting. My self esteem is boosted and it feels “right” to have my glans covered. I don’t feel so self conscious somehow. I guess what I’m saying is do what’s right for you and makes you feel good about yourself. Eventually your spouse will see the confidence you gain from it.

I'm sorry to hear he doesn't understand and chooses to mock you for your restoration. This is, of course, the reaction of so many in our misinformed world. Your advice to others seems very mature and sound.

[abhchelms]

I have chose not to disclose my restoring to my wife either!! She would laugh and call me an idiot for doing something so crazy and spending money on stupid devices that won't work!! She is very set in her ways and I for one don't need her pissed off and laughing at me!! Our sex life has been pretty nonexistent for the last 7 or 8 years anyway!!
I do hope that if you do decide to tell your wife, that she listens to it with an open mind and accepts it and supports you in the journey!!