I confided in a buddy tonight about regrowing my foreskin and mentioned I've made progress and how much I'm looking forward to the end result. He's British and was, of course, not circumcised - he kind of teased me about it and told me it'll never be the same anyway, why bother. Then posed questions like "What will women think of how it looks?" "Won't it just be a loose bag of skin?"
I'm already self conscious about not having had or grown up with what the majority of men in existence have, and then to hear it from the mouth of an uncircumcised man himself, that I don't have what he has, was brutal - it filled me with that familiar envy, jealousy, and anger. I'm so jealous that he can just not have to think about the issue, it doesn't effect him deeply emotionally like it does me and never will have to. Furthermore, I gained this sense that even after I've finished, uncircumcised men won't consider me among them, nor will women see me that way, I still won't have what other men have - which is true to an extent - but, not in the way that my buddy meant it. It stung a bit. A lot.
Anyway, I kept my cool, because he doesn't understand it and it's not his fault. I was able to calmly tell him it's something personal to me and don't want it to be a joke to him - he respected that. BUT, given that I maintained composure in person, I just needed a place to vent my grievances - so here I am.
Gotta keep positive, gotta keep positive! I don't want to demonize what I have NOW, otherwise this will be a grueling next few years.
Thanks for listening, boys. Keep tugging!
I'm already self conscious about not having had or grown up with what the majority of men in existence have, and then to hear it from the mouth of an uncircumcised man himself, that I don't have what he has, was brutal - it filled me with that familiar envy, jealousy, and anger. I'm so jealous that he can just not have to think about the issue, it doesn't effect him deeply emotionally like it does me and never will have to. Furthermore, I gained this sense that even after I've finished, uncircumcised men won't consider me among them, nor will women see me that way, I still won't have what other men have - which is true to an extent - but, not in the way that my buddy meant it. It stung a bit. A lot.
Anyway, I kept my cool, because he doesn't understand it and it's not his fault. I was able to calmly tell him it's something personal to me and don't want it to be a joke to him - he respected that. BUT, given that I maintained composure in person, I just needed a place to vent my grievances - so here I am.

Gotta keep positive, gotta keep positive! I don't want to demonize what I have NOW, otherwise this will be a grueling next few years.
Thanks for listening, boys. Keep tugging!
Comment