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I can't get over it

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  • I can't get over it

    Sorry if I'm asking so many questions, but I have to vent. I just can't seem to get over the fact that I will never be able to experience something that should have been mine. When I go on intactavist websites/Facebook pages it seems like they bash or make us who where circumcised feel less than everyone, I know it's to get a point across to not continue this disgusting practice, but I can also see how it would turn a lot of people away.

    Anyway many websites talk about how things we as circumcised men will never be able to experience like having a ridged band, luckily I still have a lot of inner foreskin and most or all of my frenulum of you can call someone that's circumcised lucky. This just deeply bothers me and I try to move past the fact, but when I wake up I'm instantly reminded of it. I was just wondering if anyone obviously other than KOT had any ideas on how to help move on from not being able to ever experience these parts that we are missing. I am just tired of feeling like this and think I should just move on and tug, but I can't seem to move on. I hope you understand where I'm coming from, I am not trying to bash Intactavist websites, but I just need to vent I guess.

  • #2
    It's a huge mind block, I have similar frustrations and issues. I have no idea how to move past having body confidence issues and the sense of not being normal, I guess you just need to keep going with restoring and hope that you can move on eventually.

    Sorry I can't help, but you're not alone.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by RYG View Post
      . When I go on intactavist websites/Facebook pages it seems like they bash or make us who where circumcised feel less than everyone, I know it's to get a point across to not continue this disgusting practice, but I can also see how it would turn a lot of people away.....

      . .....
      I agree. I don't know which sites you are referring to, but I have heard some of the rhetoric over the years, and it wasn't balanced. Some of it was hate filled, and a lot of it is clueless about the RIC situation in general. And what's worse, they don't seem to want to learn. I think for some of them it's all about anger, not teaching (I think if you said to them that they should teach, they'd look at you funny).

      So I wouldn't pay attention to it. That kind of stuff won't help you. But restoration will. Restoration is doing something about what you don't like, and only you can do it. You've described an amount of tissues (your tissues) which will give you much more sensation than you realize now. That's a promise from all of us who've finished. It takes years to get there, but what would you be doing during those years if you choose to stop tugging now? Feeling bad for all that time? Why do that. Just hang in there. The scenario you see now is definitely not the one you will find yourself in, if you tug. You have to take that first step, and then go on walking the path. That path is definitely headed in a great direction, and ends in a wonderful place.

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      • #4
        Thank you both for the encouragement, I will KOT. As of now I have been using manual methods and they seem to be working.

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        • #5
          You are not alone. My childhood was not amazing in regards to this and I am totally not over it. But tugging helps to hide the scars both physical and emotional so I will continue until I feel as whole as possible.

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          • #6
            Commenting to say that I'm been wrestling with precisely the same thing. I feel like a primary component of the human experience is forever unavailable to me. The casual and flippant manner in which my parents presumed to have this done to me, for the most arbitrary reasons.... All I know is that restoration is the best method of healing the psychological fallout. I've tried to look at it this way: foreskin restoration restores a majority of the range of sensations that can be experienced, even if the intensity of these sensations isn't entirely the same.

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            • #7
              Consider yourself one of the enlightened ones, not a "sheeple".

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              • #8
                I'm sorry to hear about your experiences on certain social media forums. That reminds me of how boards related to mental illness often end up being depressing for those who suffer from personality disorders as the people on the board tend to stigmatize the mentally ill and warn the "non mentally ill" to avoid us.

                I understand exactly how you feel, in regard to having your mutilation constantly torture you emotionally. I will say that in my case, half a lifetime after discovering what had happened to me - I was 17 when I realized how I had been mutilated and am 33 now) - I am not nearly as constantly bombarded by sorrow over what was done to me. I think with time your pain will likely fade some, and if you restore actively and aggressively (within reason, lol), you will feel much better about all of this within a few years. It's going to be very hard for a while, but we're here for you...we men who relate to your predicament.

                I feel I must also say I am jealous that you have most of your frenulum and much of your ridged band. I realize you only know what you have, and so of course you will take such things for granted. I have far less sexual tissue remaining than you do, and would give almost anything to have most of my frenulum and much of my ridged band remaining. But even I have transcended much of my angst over this over the years, even though it still hurts me deeply, and I believe you can learn to transcend it too...

                And it is nice to be in the know, even if the knowledge is painful, its better than ignorance. We are in a position to make a difference.

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                • #9
                  Thanks for your reply. Fortunately I have been able to let go much of my anger sadness and put it into restoring. I truly do like restoring its kind off a burden, but instresting at the same time. I'm sorry they took so much from you. I have wondered if I had any of my ridged band left as on the underside by the frenulum is very sensitive. Anyway all I know is restoring is helping me a lot both physically, and a TON mentally!

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