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My son was circumcised without my consent

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  • My son was circumcised without my consent

    I want to start by saying I've always been circumcised since I was young. I never thought much of it because my parents never explained anything to me.

    However, it started to become more of an issue when I had a baby boy. We decided we weren't comfortable with it and wouldn't circumcise him.

    I wondered if his penis would feel better than mine. I honestly hoped it would and wanted to kind of live through him by extension.

    Anyways, we starting going to a urologist since he had a dilated kidney. I knew it needed treated. He got a stent installed to drain the dilation and clear it.

    A month later, he went in to get it removed. At the last second, as he is going back, we see on the paper we were going to sign it said circumcision. We both think this must be a mistake, we didn't ask for that, we only had vague conversations with the doctor about it.

    Turns out, he scheduled the circumcision for us when the stent was being removed.

    My wife tried to stop this, but the doctor said we are already underway so we will finish as we don't want to leave behind scar tissue.

    I was devastated. I wanted to kill myself. I thought my wife had planned this and almost left her. I wept for my son and drank heavily and almost took my own life.

    Seeing what happened to his penis reminds me that I'm just as much a victim as he is, although at least my parents lived in a time when it was more medically accepted. I feel uninterested in sex because I wonder what I would be missing out on with a true, full, natural penis.

    Anyways, I am just heartbroken for my son. I've decided I have to find a way to restore my foreskin, either via surgery or here with tugging methods. No man should have the right to their own body and sexual pleasure taken from them at birth. The benefits are so limited and yet the result is a noticeable reduction in sexual pleasure.

    Looking for support, friends, and just any kind of love for both me and my son. I love this child more than life itself and would love to strangle the doctor that did this to him. I also am determined more than ever not to be a victim myself. I wanted to be silent and just keep my opinions on circumcision to myself, but now the US medical system has forced my hand.

    Appreciate the support. Let me know your thoughts.

  • #2
    Wow that must be devastating. I would be devastated. Not much to say other than hang in there, give yourself time to go through the grieving process. Sucks.

    Later, at some point, there are three things I would do, that you might consider as well. Just keep them in your back pocket for now, but later, when you are ready, revisit them:

    1) Contact a lawyer to inquire about a case against the doctor. What he did was unethical, and I would think unnecessary medically. A case should be possible. if nothing else, to bring this to the attention of others, hopefully to stop him form future actions.

    2) Restore my own foreskin. Both to recover my own sexual function and feelings, but to also fight back. And, in this case, so I could be a good resource for my son, see the next item.

    3) Prepare for the day when I feel my son is old enough for him to start restoring his foreskin. Part of that preparation will be my own restoration, role modeling the behavior and the process for him. As well, the knowledge I gain doing this will help me become an expert he can rely on. And, when the time comes, I can provide support and help as needed.

    Bummer. Not easy to live with, but I am sure you will get through this.

    Best wishes

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    • #3
      Yeah, that might warrant a malpractice suit. You may want to contact someone at Attorneys for the Rights of the Child, who'd be able to refer you to a lawyer in your area who could take the case (if not someone within their organization).

      Comment


      • #4
        Thank you. My parents think I'm crazy.

        I was born cut and wanted better for my son. Wanted him to experience the full pleasure of natural sex. Sadly he was denied this.

        I just don't know what to do. Support is appreciated.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by greg_b View Post
          Wow that must be devastating. I would be devastated. Not much to say other than hang in there, give yourself time to go through the grieving process. Sucks.

          Later, at some point, there are three things I would do, that you might consider as well. Just keep them in your back pocket for now, but later, when you are ready, revisit them:

          1) Contact a lawyer to inquire about a case against the doctor. What he did was unethical, and I would think unnecessary medically. A case should be possible. if nothing else, to bring this to the attention of others, hopefully to stop him form future actions.

          2) Restore my own foreskin. Both to recover my own sexual function and feelings, but to also fight back. And, in this case, so I could be a good resource for my son, see the next item.

          3) Prepare for the day when I feel my son is old enough for him to start restoring his foreskin. Part of that preparation will be my own restoration, role modeling the behavior and the process for him. As well, the knowledge I gain doing this will help me become an expert he can rely on. And, when the time comes, I can provide support and help as needed.

          Bummer. Not easy to live with, but I am sure you will get through this.

          Best wishes
          I appreciate the support. I will for sure be restoring my own foreskin to prove this is wrong.

          Comment


          • #6
            Contact www.arclaw.org . David Llewellyn specializes in circumcision lawsuits and has won quite a number of them.

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            • #7
              If I were you, I would pursue a law suit to defend my right if that's an option. If the doctor intentionally tricked you to do so, you have the means to sue that crappy clinic or hospital. I would really, really consider hiring a lawyer to bring that place down. Of course, if you're living in a lawless place like mine, men are capable of defending themselves. If I can't, I would demonstrate everyday and gather activists next to the door so no one can go in or out of their hospital, guess what! There are millions of paths where you can gain your dignity back again,.

              SUE THOSE BASTARDS, BRING 'EM DOWN.

              Comment


              • #8
                Thanks all. My first instinct was a lawsuit.

                We have been in contact with the risk manager at the hospital and they are conducting an investigation.

                I spoke with one attorney locally who won a circumcision case years ago and he said he isn't interested in the case.

                Filled out tons of forms at the arclaw.org website. No response.

                I feel like giving up.

                Comment


                • #9
                  There is a phone number listed on their website. Call THEM. Squeaky wheel gets the oil.

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