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  • about giving up...

    everything.
    the pain sometimes takes prorportions i cannot bear
    i know i've been though and dealing with since then
    but sometimes it gets too strong and it's like being a lonely wolf
    some of therapists say "you must have to explore other sources of pleasure"
    but they can't understand and sometimes they even refuse to see the actual picture and importance of.
    the feeling of being raped is so present
    the urge of educating people about it as well.
    it's easy to get together here. i love to read everything from you and sometimes i feel motivated again
    although i'd like to feel that i could make a difference in the real world, that no-one would be submitted to such thing
    no legit knowledge supports such quackery. you know about this
    i'm really exausted of triggers and dealing with the feeling of rape, castration and sexual mutilation symbolized by my circumcision.
    i know everyone here is so much aware of what i'm saying and may say to me - hey you're not alone.
    i'm starting to considerate suicide.
    i'm sorry.

    (yes, i'm at meds. i've been watched by a doctor. i'm really trying...)

  • #2
    I am sorry that you do not seem to be able to come to grips with your situation. That sucks. I wish I had some insight that could help you. All I know to do is focus on the future and try to make things better each day. Easy to say, hard to do.

    Please try and hang in there. find something good about each day and focus on the things that are under your control that you can improve. Not fix, not make perfect, but just improve a little bit.

    Best wishes

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    • #3
      Originally posted by greg_b View Post
      I am sorry that you do not seem to be able to come to grips with your situation. That sucks. I wish I had some insight that could help you. All I know to do is focus on the future and try to make things better each day. Easy to say, hard to do.

      Please try and hang in there. find something good about each day and focus on the things that are under your control that you can improve. Not fix, not make perfect, but just improve a little bit.

      Best wishes
      Thank you. I'm still trying, but i'm really really exhausted. My head weights a ton.

      Comment


      • #4
        I have dealt with depression, rape, circumsision, and attempted suicide multiple times. In the family I green up in therapy and medication wasnt an option my father always thought depression wasn't real and was an excuse for people to be "weak". Your post confuses me a bit does this have anything to do with restoration or do you just need to vent? Suicide should never ever be an option. Yes it hurts, yes the fear and anger is always there but YOU have to overcome it. I found my peace when I realized that me not living my life to the fullest or dwelling on the past is giving my attacker all the power over my life. I simply refused to dwell on it any longer and put it on the back burner for lack of better analogies. Now when I have a really good day or even experience I think back when I attempted suicide and realize I wouldn't have experienced any of this joy if I had succeeded in ending my life. Like Greg said focus on the good in life and not the bad. If you fall down and scrap your knee be glad you didn't break something, if you are late to work be glad you didn't get injured in an accident. Things like that will make you realize at least some beauty in life. Mental illness is not something to be embarrassed about, no one is embarrassed to have diabetes, heart diesease, etc. What I'm saying it's please get the help you need don't do something you can't take back such as suicide. This is a long, hard, difficult journey but just think about growing old and looking back at all the good times don't rob yourself of that. We have one shot at this life on Earth please make the most of it. Overcome the pain and fear and when you do that you overcome what happened to you and the past no longer has any power of you. Best of luck just don't give up.

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        • #5
          I'm not trying to imply anything about intactivism or the benefits of restoration, but I think it might be beneficial for anyone who feels this way to consider leaving the scene and focusing on other things. Browsing these forums and restoring is not a positive experience for me, and in general day-to-day life I am happier just not worrying about it at all. I'm only here because the end result is worth the trouble. But for some people maybe the trouble outweighs the potential gain. Ignorance is bliss. I've been in the shadows of restoration for years and have walked away from it a few times before I even started because I didn't like the mentality I would get into thinking about it. But either way I know that circumcision isn't the problem. It is a problem, but not the problem. I get anxious over a lot of things and sometimes ignoring things is better for me.

          This isn't advice, just a thought.

          Comment


          • #6
            electrorganique, are there any support groups available where you live? Discussing it with a therapist surely helps, but peer support will help on a different level. Being able to discuss any troubling subject in person can be useful in overcoming depression and other emotional difficulties. Of course, discussing things over the internet can also be helpful - so you've made a start.

            As it's stated in the title of this forum category, we're all in this together.

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            • #7
              Yes absolutely seek out a sympathetic therapist or hypno therapist, if one is no good keep looking as we have all needed help of some kind through out our lives and is no less important than a physical issue. Our thoughts and body are one and we as the owner need to look after all aspects. So stick with finding what works for you. Best wishes.

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              • #8
                DON'T GIVE UP! Even though you can't stand these feelings you can't give up, don't just be depressed get angry if you have to. Restore to prove that they can't get to you and you refuse to stay mutilated and violated. Stick with it man!

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                • #9
                  I understand your pain. Jesus Christ can comfort you now. Pray and ask for help and he will answer you.

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                  • #10
                    thank you all very much for the support!!! i'm so sorry i haven't communicated before for a long time... i'm doing better now, although that's an effort to be done day by day.

                    battle still is ongoing. in my littleness i still try to carry it on.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by lnny0909 View Post
                      Your post confuses me a bit does this have anything to do with restoration or do you just need to vent?
                      i was completely triggered inside my circumcision trauma. sometimes i really get lost and go emotionally in a breakdown when i sorta review it.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Most people with depression suffer from Magnesium deficiency. Try taking a daily dose of Magnesium Citrate. Another natural thing you can try is StJohns Wort. Neither one will.have any negative side effects.

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