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Low self stem and emotional issues

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  • Low self stem and emotional issues

    Hey guys, I am kind of new here in the forum but I've been checking it out once in a while since when I was 14. I was circumcised as a newborn and I grew up thinking it was normal, lIke everyone was circumcised and so. When I was 14 years old I discovered the horrifying truth about my genital mutilation and even now ten years after it I cannot get over it. Since then I feel exposed, insecure , not safe, mutilated and lacking.
    I tried to restore myself by using manual methods and the canister method and I went from CI1 to CI3, I can even touch myself without any lube and so but the sensation is almost never there. I love my girlfriend she's really supportive but when we make love using condoms I can't just feel anything.
    I purchased a TLC tugger and I'm really opmistic about it. But my anxiety issues keep increasing. I've done therapy and I getting better but once in a while theses feelings just strike into my mind making me feel miserable.
    I just believe that many things that come into my mind started with my first trauma, the one I faced as an infant. Many times I ponder upon my behavior and I truly see connections between circumcision and mental health.
    how do you guys deal with circumcision grief?

  • #2
    Welcome.

    I think everyone has to figure out how to deal with grief in their own way. Perhaps even more importantly, they have to give themselves time for the grieving process to move through its stages, you may want to look up information on that if you have not.

    For me, acknowledging it, learning about the subject of circumcision, talking about it, abd doing something about it, ie restoring, seem to help me the most. Give yourself time to grieve.

    Best wishes

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by greg_b View Post
      Welcome.

      I think everyone has to figure out how to deal with grief in their own way. Perhaps even more importantly, they have to give themselves time for the grieving process to move through its stages, you may want to look up information on that if you have not.

      For me, acknowledging it, learning about the subject of circumcision, talking about it, abd doing something about it, ie restoring, seem to help me the most. Give yourself time to grieve.

      Best wishes
      Thank you Greg, I shall check it out.

      Comment


      • #4
        Hey dude, welcome.

        I know what you mean. It IS a very traumatic thing to deal with.You have come to the right place. Talking about it with others who are in the same situation is the best therapy you can find. Most "professionals" are either biased, in denial themselves, or unaffected by circumcision. Screw them!

        I was cut as an adult, and let me tell you, you are fortunate that you don't remember what it was like to be intact. Remembering what it was like is pure Hell. Especially when you got manipulated into getting cut. Putting all right out in the open is the best way to start the healing process.

        Since finding out about restoration and the deep rabbit hole it lives in, I have found that educating others on the subject, particularly expecting parents, has helped me deal with this tremendously. I have saved MANY infants from this heinous procedure and it makes you feel awesome. You feel like a Superhero kicking circumcision's ass! I literally cry tears of joy every time I save a kid.

        As you restore and gain skin things will improve tremendously even before you have coverage and that will be another huge boost.

        KOT!

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by parsecskin View Post
          Hey dude, welcome.

          I know what you mean. It IS a very traumatic thing to deal with.You have come to the right place. Talking about it with others who are in the same situation is the best therapy you can find. Most "professionals" are either biased, in denial themselves, or unaffected by circumcision. Screw them!

          I was cut as an adult, and let me tell you, you are fortunate that you don't remember what it was like to be intact. Remembering what it was like is pure Hell. Especially when you got manipulated into getting cut. Putting all right out in the open is the best way to start the healing process.

          Since finding out about restoration and the deep rabbit hole it lives in, I have found that educating others on the subject, particularly expecting parents, has helped me deal with this tremendously. I have saved MANY infants from this heinous procedure and it makes you feel awesome. You feel like a Superhero kicking circumcision's ass! I literally cry tears of joy every time I save a kid.

          As you restore and gain skin things will improve tremendously even before you have coverage and that will be another huge boost.

          KOT!
          Thanks man let's help others to get people to know about it. I had some opportunities to talk to people about the problems that circumcision brings and it's always rewarding to help others to see the truth.

          Comment


          • #6
            Absolutely! But you're gonna run into some people who just refuse to even listen to the truth because they are so in denial, filled with cognitive dissonance and brainwashed. Mostly older folks. Don't let that discourage you. The younger generation seem to get it for the most part.

            Comment


            • #7
              True, I've realized that kind of reaction among some of my relatives.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Ruhtar View Post
                how do you guys deal with circumcision grief?


                look at it this way. think of it in a positive sense: your circumcision is a wake up call.
                It is a reminder that there are people out there that don't care about your health or simply aren't aware of your health.

                But now you are aware of that, have more individualism, and think critically about everyone.

                Where would you be if you were still believing all the medical advice you were given?

                Comment


                • #9
                  As TLCusr said, "Think critically ... " Ask questions of medical people - and of others also.

                  I'm in intact Ireland/UK/Europe and was aware that I was "different" when I was about age 6. I was most embarrassed in male naked (locker room type) situations.
                  I resolved that no sons of mine would be in a similar situation.
                  When restoration became known to me, at about age 45, I started immediately. Now happily restored.

                  If you feel inclined to promote foreskin restoration in an anonymous manner, you can print calling card size items:
                  "Circumcised??? Hate it???
                  Google 'Foreskin restoration'"
                  and leave in men's rooms.
                  Tormod

                  Some of you may have had occasion to run into mathematicians and to wonder therefore how they got that way - Tom Lehrer

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Hi Ruhtar
                    This is a life sentence and it doesn't go away. You have been damaged physically, mentally and emotionally but you are also a stronger person because of it. You don't know it but you are.
                    I had issues with anxiety, depression and self esteem for decades. I have had a lot of counselling and other methods to try and fix the trauma. It has helped massively. Perhaps the thing that has helped more than anything was writing a letter to my mum to explain how I have been as a result of her decision. It crushed her to know she has caused this but now she knows the reasons for my behaviour and I feel like a massive weight has been lifted.
                    Also you need space, you need to grieve and rebuild trust. Restoring helps too, but the most important thing you can do is realise you have had a set back in life but you can get over it. You can have a good life and you will, if you want to. If you allow circumcision to ruin your mind it will. The only person who can stop it is you. Think positive, stay positive and know your life has meaning and value. It took me to my mid 40s to work all this out but I know it can be done quicker.
                    I regret being circumcised but a bigger regret is letting it take so much of my life. You're still young and you have time on your side.
                    Good luck, you'll get there.

                    Comment

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