Depressed and Self Conscious

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  • YoungTug
    Junior Member
    • Apr 2016
    • 11

    Depressed and Self Conscious

    Basically i was circumcised as a baby which first of all is bang out of order since i'm unable to put a input on a vital part of my body being cut off. Anyway ever since i was old enough to realized that i was missing something that everyone around me had something it set in that i was different. However since i was young at the time i never really started thinking about it. Now im 18 and im sexually active it really does matter to me. First of all my circumcision was done poorly if you ask me because on one side of my glans theirs a piece of webbed skin that's connected to my glans and then to my scar line im guessing it was missed when being cut and it grew slightly, It hasn't caused me problems just looks strange. Also just the fact that i know that i'm different im scared to get into a relationship because she will find me weird for not having it, sounds stupid but it has got me that depressed and low i nearly cry about it, on top of that im angry because ive lost sensitivity it takes me ages to reach orgasm and on top of that its caused me to have pigmentation problems on my glans. So basically its all gone down hill for me. No one other than my parents know i'm circumcised, growing up in school i never told anyone and ive never told my friends either, i hate feeling different and its ruined my life, This is the first time ive ever spoke about this to anyone
  • V33S
    Junior Member
    • Jan 2016
    • 39

    #2
    As upsetting as it is, this is something you will need to accept and move on from. Assuming that you are restoring, let these feelings be fuel to continue restoring.

    I've had a lot of bad things happen to me in life, but I live a great life. I was bullied from the first day of school until the last day of school, came out to a homophobic parent, and was involved in a terrible accident that left a 4 inch scar on my forehead. These were probably the worst things to happen to me. Because I was bullied, I developed a deep sense of compassion for other people. Because I had a homophobic parent, I was able to educate someone who has deep rooted beliefs and offered an alternative view on what living a normal life means. Because of the accident I have learned the importance of taking care of my body and also that beauty IS skin deep - the scar healed, I know that it's there but 99% of people don't even notice it because it looks like an expression mark. The same goes with foreskin restoration.

    Not everybody believes this, but I believe that everything you experience in life is absolutely necessary for growth. Sometimes you don't have the choice when it comes to situations in your life. I know that I didn't have a choice in any of the things that happened to me in the examples listed above, but what I did have a choice in was deciding that in order to get to a point where those examples were no longer a reality in life, I could either stay in that place, or work towards making change happen. I heard a quote one time that I've said on this site before, and I'll say it again, It all starts and ends in the mind, what you give power to, has power over you. It's as easy as that. I hate the fact that I was circumcised, I hate that people are cruel to animals, or that children, women (or men) face abusive situations on a daily basis, or that other people like me (gay people) are killed in certain areas of the world, but instead of focusing on the things that I don't like, I focus on the positives. I am thankful that I am restoring because I am correcting my body. I am thankful that there are animal rights groups working tirelessly around the globe. I am thankful that law enforcement is working to end domestic abuse and I am thankful that as a society, we are growing in a way to accept all members of the community.

    Try to think about this when the depressing thoughts come in. If you didn't experience this situation, you may have never known what it means to respect every aspect of body. Good luck on your journey.
    If I know one thing in life, The fastest way to success is through consistency. Thinking of stopping / need some motivation? PM me.

    | DTR | Starting; CI3 | Current; RCI4 |

    Comment

    • BubbleTeddy
      Junior Member
      • Apr 2016
      • 21

      #3
      Sorry mate. That shit happens, it's such a shame. I'm so sorry that you weren't able to voice an opinion over the matter.

      It shouldn't get in the way of relationships though if you're still worried about that. Women usually could care less about the way a guys dick looks, they first and foremost care about his heart, I.e. Whether he's kind and compassionate and loving.

      Keep on being aware of your feelings though, that's a very good thing . Congratulations for voicing them on this forum. Takes a lot of courage to do that, especially when you haven't told anybody else yet.

      Comment

      • Tormod
        Senior Member
        • Oct 2015
        • 201

        #4
        YoungTug - our backgrounds are very similar.
        It's good that you have found foreskin restoration web sites. Restoration does work and can result in a restored foreskin which is highly realistic and which gives vastly increased sensation during sex.
        That "piece of webbed skin" that you have? Is it on the under surface of your glans? More or less connecting your piss hole with the circumcision scar? If so, then it is natural and is what remains of your frenulum. It is probably very touch sensitive. In many circumcisions the whole frenulum is cut out. It seems to be the non-US styles which leave that part of the frenulum.
        Have a good read through the various foreskin restoration methods and devices which are available. See which 2 or 3 YOU could use on a daily basis - which fit in with your ordinary daily activities.
        Best wishes
        Tormod in Ireland/UK
        Tormod

        Some of you may have had occasion to run into mathematicians and to wonder therefore how they got that way - Tom Lehrer

        Comment

        • YoungTug
          Junior Member
          • Apr 2016
          • 11

          #5
          Can I just thank everyone one of you for taking time out of your day to give me advice and to help me over come my problems. I already feel better about my foreskin being gone knowing that Ive come to the right place to sort this problem out but foremost knowing that there's people out there who are having the same problems as me. Ive never spoke about my problems before as ive said but you guys were very humble and i'm happy that I have spoken about this. I think i'm worrying to much about the whole relationship thing, i just dont want to be different but hopefully a few months maybe a year or so from now ill look back and ill be close to being fully restored, Also can someone give me a working routine for manual restoring and the method they used or combination they used and how long you think it will take(I am aware you cant be exact because everyone's different and mitosis is different for everyone) but a guess would be great

          Comment

          • greg_b
            Junior Member
            • Nov 2015
            • 1289

            #6
            Welcome! Sorry you were circumcised, and glad you found this forum a help.


            ​Regarding manual methods, it is as simple as pulling on your skin. This forum has a section that focuses on methods. Look under methods, then in the sub folder on tapeless tugging. I tried to post a link, but can't seem to get it to work.

            Regards



            ​

            Comment

            • BubbleTeddy
              Junior Member
              • Apr 2016
              • 21

              #7
              I've heard people say that 3-4 sessions of 15min manual tugging gave them good results.

              If you want to buy something like a TLC tugger, that is pretty convenient as you can wear it under pants secretly.

              Surprisingly, it doesn't really take much to grow new skin. I've heard of guys even doing 15-30min per day of manual tugging which got them satisfactory results.

              Comment

              • YoungTug
                Junior Member
                • Apr 2016
                • 11

                #8
                Well ill have a go, im also having problems with manual tugging, i tugged for 2 seperate sessions today for about 20 mins, my first day starting to restore and my skin by the end of the first session looks red and feels like its buring a little bit( not a lot so im in extreme agany) however by the second 20 minute session it was slightly uncomfortable, should i slow down or and i tugging to hard or is it my skin just getting use to this?

                Comment

                • parsecskin
                  Senior Member
                  • Oct 2015
                  • 1534

                  #9
                  The goal here is to induce mitosis, not stretch your skin. A little soreness and redness is ok as long as its gone the next day. Any longer and your body has gone into healing mode instead of cell division mode. It's a very fine line between optimal tension and too much. Generally NO MORE than a pound is needed and 30 minute sessions seem to be about the right amount of time to induce mitosis. A while back I was using 20 OZ and my progress came to a screeching halt, I had minor skin tears and abrasions, and my skin felt worked all the time. Now I'm down to 8-9 OZ and my progress has picked back up. This is something you have to experiment with because everybody's skin is different and responds differently to different amounts of tension and time. As always, be careful with too much tension, particularly with the pusher on a dual tension device. THAT will really do a number on you. Just recently, I had to take 2 weeks off because I was using too much pusher pressure for too long a time and ended up with a blocked lymph vessel and my inner foreskin blew up like I had paraphimosis. It didn't hurt at all and it took 10 days for it to resolve itself, but it scared the shit out of me.

                  Comment

                  • Arjay
                    Junior Member
                    • Apr 2016
                    • 27

                    #10
                    Restore what you can, how is having sex with a intact penis more valuable than taking trips aboard?

                    Comment

                    • mariconsoy
                      Junior Member
                      • Apr 2016
                      • 3

                      #11
                      Many guys like me, have the same issue of being violated against our wish. I found out that I had been cut at birth, by seeing an intact friend.
                      There is no doubt in my mind, that I got circumcised without pain meds, and I think they had a rough time which only added to the circumcision pain. I get flashbacks of the helplessness and EXTREME pain.
                      Restoration makes it much better, but the eager circumcisers feel the need to mark a man for life. How can they do this?

                      Comment

                      • Going Hooded
                        Senior Member
                        • Jan 2016
                        • 375

                        #12
                        Originally posted by YoungTug
                        Basically i was circumcised as a baby which first of all is bang out of order since i'm unable to put a input on a vital part of my body being cut off. Anyway ever since i was old enough to realized that i was missing something that everyone around me had something it set in that i was different. However since i was young at the time i never really started thinking about it. Now im 18 and im sexually active it really does matter to me. First of all my circumcision was done poorly if you ask me because on one side of my glans theirs a piece of webbed skin that's connected to my glans and then to my scar line im guessing it was missed when being cut and it grew slightly, It hasn't caused me problems just looks strange. Also just the fact that i know that i'm different im scared to get into a relationship because she will find me weird for not having it, sounds stupid but it has got me that depressed and low i nearly cry about it, on top of that im angry because ive lost sensitivity it takes me ages to reach orgasm and on top of that its caused me to have pigmentation problems on my glans. So basically its all gone down hill for me. No one other than my parents know i'm circumcised, growing up in school i never told anyone and ive never told my friends either, i hate feeling different and its ruined my life, This is the first time ive ever spoke about this to anyone
                        I am really sorry for your pain. I felt a lot of anger over my circumcision. I know it is hard 'pill' to swallow. It will get easier with time.

                        What helped me was doing something about it. Growing my foreskin back. I started restoring when I was 14 years old. I did not want to be circumcised. I started with virtually no foreskin and my testicles being forced into my body with each erection because so much skin had been removed. I am just finishing off now. Two days ago I actually just performed what is known as a 'purse string touch up' to slightly tighten the tip of the foreskin. For the next few weeks I will be posting daily updates to my progress gallery as my penis / foreskin heals from this. It isn't necessary. But something I wanted to do as I take back what was taken from me.


                        When I started restoring I used the "t-strap" method. It requires a suspender strap. I wore it at night with the strap over my shoulder so when I had a night time erection my penis was already oriented in the direction of an erection. Then during the day I wore it going to the left and right (with my penis coming coming out of the hole of my boxers). You should only do this if you are comfortable with it. Also if you are going to tug while asleep you need to induce an erection to ensure you won't hurt your penis.

                        I want to remind you not to be "superman". 1 pound of tension is all that is needed to cause the foreskin to re-grow. I have used manual tugging. I went from CI 7 to CI 9 using this mention. I don't recall my skin being red after tugging, although I do remember it being loose. My theory on manual tugging is to have the next manual tugging session before the looseness created goes away. Let me use an example of a baseball. If you get hit in the head it swells. The body is trying to heal itself. My impression is that the fluid which comes to the foreskin will keep tension / pressure on it and encourage the mitosis (cell division) to occur even though you aren't actively tugging, so long as you listen to your body and continue to tug before the fluid releases. It means listening to your body. Understanding how it reacts.

                        I did find the manual tugging method to help address an uneven circumcision. I am not telling you to abandon your method. Just to think through what you are doing. I used 4 different methods in my restoration.

                        There is something else I want to address with you which I experienced. The shaft of my penis was partially covered with my scrotum. I had a hairy shaft of my penis. Restoring my foreskin caused this to gradually go down the shaft and my scrotum to taken on it's rightful size / form. Thus my testicles weren't being forced back into my body. I've seen different men (especially in the old forum) speak of nothing happening. I want to encourage you to take monthly photos of your entire genitals in a position / camera angle you can reproduce month after month. I am not telling you to put photos of your penis on the Internet. (In fact it kind of weirds me out doing this myself, although I am doing it for support, asking questions and sharing my experience of the purse string touch up.) Why I suggest this is so you can look at the pictures on a computer screen where you will be able to enlarge the picture and compare it to your starting point and perhaps previous months. There is only a certain amount of foreskin you are going to grow each month. It is a slow process. If you visually can see progress it will help with your grief / depression and also keep you motivated to persevere. Eventually the sadness will give will to determination when you see progress.

                        I told my closest friends I was doing this. They accepted that I was doing this but really didn't understand how it was possible. I compared this to a man gaining weight from over eating. When the stomach can grow it isn't too much of a stretch for someone to accept the foreskin growing back.

                        Now that I've shared all this I want to close by asking you to hear me out on one final. You have your whole life ahead of you. I know this sucks right now. I am sure if you stop to think about it there are goals and aspirations you had that are still there but you need to be reminded of these. Both short term and long term. Please consider making yourself a list of these and putting them by your bedside to help you through the sadness. It isn't that you won't cry again over this. The Lord knows I have many times. But it will help you in the here and now so you can function. In your sadness please make sure you are doing the right thing for yourself in choosing to be sexually active and not doing so out of the anger from being circumcised against your will. Anger is part of grief. This can be an opportunity for you to gain maturity over your emotions and help you in the bigger picture of your life. I only want the best for you in your life.
                        View My Progress Gallery @ https://foreskinrestoration.vbulleti...ooded-progress

                        Comment

                        • YoungTug
                          Junior Member
                          • Apr 2016
                          • 11

                          #13
                          Going Hooded

                          I would like to say sorry for what has happened to you in the past but you seem well on your way to reaching the goals that you wanted. I would also like to say thank you for taking your time out of your day to tell me your story and tips on how I could reach mine I am highly grate full. When I wrote my story I never thought people would care but it set of pretty well and I've got many pm's and comments that make my day just that much better. I am still finding it hard but not as hard as I was, I've only been on this journey for 5 days and I know I have many ahead but I will stay motivated and push my self to reach my goals and every single one of you are cheering me on to do so. My dream of restoring my foreskin is not entirely to feel complete again entirely, don't get me wrong I want that but to wake up in the morning knowing I'm not different I'm a normally fully functioning man. Can I also thank everyone who's commented on this post again I want each and everyone one of you too be happy in life and reach the goals that you wanted you all deserve it. I would buy and use devices but I come from a poor background and i don't have a job I've tried but everywhere just aren't taking people on which is a shame, so ill have to do with whats around me. I will reach my goals and I'm happy doing it along side you lot.

                          Tug on boys Tug on!

                          "What we do with life echos for eternity"

                          Comment

                          • Going Hooded
                            Senior Member
                            • Jan 2016
                            • 375

                            #14
                            Originally posted by YoungTug
                            Going Hooded

                            I would like to say sorry for what has happened to you in the past but you seem well on your way to reaching the goals that you wanted. I would also like to say thank you for taking your time out of your day to tell me your story and tips on how I could reach mine I am highly grate full. When I wrote my story I never thought people would care but it set of pretty well and I've got many pm's and comments that make my day just that much better. I am still finding it hard but not as hard as I was, I've only been on this journey for 5 days and I know I have many ahead but I will stay motivated and push my self to reach my goals and every single one of you are cheering me on to do so. My dream of restoring my foreskin is not entirely to feel complete again entirely, don't get me wrong I want that but to wake up in the morning knowing I'm not different I'm a normally fully functioning man. Can I also thank everyone who's commented on this post again I want each and everyone one of you too be happy in life and reach the goals that you wanted you all deserve it. I would buy and use devices but I come from a poor background and i don't have a job I've tried but everywhere just aren't taking people on which is a shame, so ill have to do with whats around me. I will reach my goals and I'm happy doing it along side you lot.

                            Tug on boys Tug on!

                            "What we do with life echos for eternity"
                            You are welcome
                            View My Progress Gallery @ https://foreskinrestoration.vbulleti...ooded-progress

                            Comment

                            • YoungTug
                              Junior Member
                              • Apr 2016
                              • 11

                              #15
                              Quick update for everyone I'm happily in a relationship and she hasn't even noticed i'm circumcised and to be honest I don't think she will care. My confidence is a all time high and i couldn't be happier. The sex is great but she has pointed out that i last longer(due to lose of sensitivity) however its all going great down my end.

                              "What we do in life echos for Eternity"

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