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I would do anything to say these words:

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  • I would do anything to say these words:

    "I am not circumcised"

    To say them, and actually mean it. To say it with confidence, and know it's true.
    But it's not.. but if it were true, how amazing would that be? To finally know the shackles have been removed, the thoughts that have plagued my mind for years, the anxiety, the stress, the hatred, the despair. To finally be able to enjoy life and not have to worry about that fucking piece of missing skin. It's not about the skin, it's about the action of mutilating someone, to celebrate it, to commemorate it, to bind him to a faith he did not choose.

    When I was first introduced to the world of circumcision and foreskin restoration I was about 16. Damn... how the years have passed. I saw the link to the forum, the old one, and thought about it for a long, long time if I should click that link or not. I knew there was a painful truth out there and that this is the moment if I decide to face it or pretend it's not there.

    To this day I don't know if I've made the right choice.

    I want to tell a story.. Admittedly, It's pretty pointless but meh, some context and backstory never hurts...

    In my country, it is the norm to be circumcised, I can count in one hand the number of people I know who are not circumcised.
    A couple of months ago I've traveled to a European country with my friends and we went to a club, we had to piss but there was only one stall and I went inside and pissed when two more friends stormed in jokingly and started pissing in the same toilet bowl.
    I laughed, it caught me by surprise, they've pushed me aside a bit while I was pissing and I've almost missed the bowl, or worse, pee'd on someone's leg.
    What childish behavior, considering we're in our mid twenties...
    Anyway, one of the friends said to the other "hey man! You're not circumcised" and he answered with something along the lines of "oh, yeah, haha.." and they both just shrugged it off.

    Lesson learned: No one gives a fuck if you're circumcised, the whole "people will mock him" is bullshit. After kindergarten there is no reason whatsoever for anyone to see your wiener.

    Now, back to the story..

    Back at home, I share an office with a bunch of friends. It's not a workplace and everyone who shares the office are friends of mine.
    Anyway, there's this cute female friend who shares the office with me and the two friends who flew with me to Europe, among other people who weren't there that day

    The next part may sound weird for those who understand the office environment that this is but it was in a totally acceptable manner because like I said, we are friends, not coworkers.

    While we are working the circumcised friend mentioned in some context that one of us isn't circumcised and the girl heard it, laughs a bit and jokingly says it must be me(the writer) because I've lived in Europe during my childhood.
    The guy says he won't tell who it is.
    I defiantly proclaim "it isn't me", with a fake grin on my face, hiding my shame.

    So she goes "umm okay, must be X!". She was right, he smiles but doesn't say anything. It's nothing to be ashamed, he just doesn't want to talk about his dick with her.

    Now, at this point you've probably expected the quote to be from the friend.
    First, congratulations on getting this far..
    Second, nope, not by him.

    The girl, pondering if she was right, jokingly says "Well, I am not circumcised, that's for sure haha".
    Of course she isn't, she's a girl, she's perfect, unharmed. It probably never crossed her mind that she could be circumcised, that she could be mutilated, that she could be butchered...

    It is at that moment that I've experienced a feeling I've never felt before, or at least not in a very long long time.. so long that I've probably forgotten it ever existed.
    I felt calm. peaceful. I just got into her mind and felt pure tranquility. I felt divine, as if nothing bad ever happened to me.

    I would do anything to be in her shoes, to so happily proclaim that "I, yes, me! I am not circumcised!"
    To just be able to say these words and know that I am not one of "them", that to know that between the two sides of the story, I am on the better side.
    She could happily, truthfully, 100% sincerely say "I am not circumcised".

    I was so envious at that moment but I knew that no matter what I did, I will never be in her shoes. I will live the rest of my 60? 70? maybe 80 years in anger with no one in this world to understand me.

    I would fucking kill to fix that, to revert back to when I was born and change EVERYTHING.

    I feel like the only way to win this game is to kill myself, to get it over with. I know I will lose far more but at least I will win some. I won't have to suffer decades of self hatred and anger that eats me from inside. It is pure agony.

    I won't do it though, I have potential, I can change the world, I have other things to live for and if I ever make it big in life I will dedicate it all to finding a cure.

    I would do anything to say "I am not circumcised" and mean it. To know it's no lie.

  • #2
    I can relate to every situation you talked about. Including the girl saying "well I'm not cirumcised". It has a huge impact on my life. I believe it is why I got hooked on drugs in my teens. I have better things to live for though I have realized its not worth being a sad victim but instead celebrate what I have and work with it.

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    • #3
      For a brief time, I thought I wasn’t circumcised for a few weeks. I thought because of my premature birth I had a defect. I was the happiest I had ever been. I found out later that that wasn’t the case. It felt good being normal for a little bit.. that wasn’t the case. My mother thought that maybe they didn’t do it because she never had to take care of it like my brothers. However, I was in the hospital a month before I was brought home. I wish she would have never given me that hope. It’s like hitting the lottery and then dying.

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      • #4
        Yeah, being in a world where it's just luck of the draw whether you got mutilated as a baby or not, and worse, a world where people laugh that situation off as if it doesn't matter, sucks.

        But on the bright side, we at least got the luck of the draw to be born into it during the teeny tiny tidbit of it's history where the internet exists to shed light on the situation and enlighten us to ways we can undo some of the damage. 2000+ years of this was going on where men had no access to any contradictory information so they all just accepted it blindly. Just within the past 20 or so, has there been a worldwide communication tool for us to learn the truth and start spreading the word to end this fucked up ancient tradition.

        We're a lucky few humans in the history of our species who have this opportunity. Enlightenment is painful though... all those men of the pre-internet world lived out their lives believing their circumcised penises were the best they could be. We have to bear the burden of knowing what we lost, but that give us the power to get some of it back, and protect future generations from losing it as well.

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