Bit of a rough time...

[NITRO]

Hi everyone,

Tonight... it finally got to me that no matter how much effort I do with my restoration, even though it is really good and will help me for the rest of my life, I will never me whole again. I will continue my restoration and not give it up since I'm experiencing more joy than I've had before, but I know deep down I'll never be whole.

I've decided to reach out to a circumcision lawyer in the US to see what my options are. I do not want to sue my parents as I know they are too... let me put this rather tactfully... uneducated to know what it is that they did to me. Essentially they were brainwashed by a Christian religion known as the Worldwide Church of God. I'd like to, if possible, see what options there are to go against that church which still exists today.

I didn't consent to being in that church nor did I ever consent to being cut as a baby. It was rather difficult growing up as a child and having my parents drill into me for years that I was cut because this is what "god" wanted and what the church said so we could get into the kingdom of god someday and that only cut people would be allowed to enter. I was never taught that this was for health reasons. I was taught that this was because "god" and the church said so and that my parents had to do it because this is what god wanted. This only would have happened if my parents weren't brainwashed into that cult.

I'm at the point where instead of sitting around and trying to not do anything, I want to do something against this faith that is a pure poison on society and is classified as a cult. As an adult and free thinking atheist today, the notion of any of this being remotely plausible as a means to corrupt children into fear of the outside world and to treat the bible as a literal work is absurd.

I thought I could handle things myself with my grief, but it became too much for me to keep quiet anymore. Sorry if this seems like a rant, but I couldn't take it anymore tonight. I lost it I guess...

[OzVic]

Be proud Nitro you see things very clearly than most of the herded sheep in today's society.
Consider yourself a better man with high values compared to anybody in an money making scam of supposed organised religion.

Many here understand, Unfortunately most religions are actually evil & 99.9% are corrupt and as to brain washing we hear you.
Church people and the things they try to justify in Gods name are shocking, that the real God would find total abhorrent.

If God with nature made all of us perfect when born (Why alter it by torture in mans Image / Ego ?)

Interestingly one can practice mediation and discuss directly with God if one needs, one does not need a church or cult that has serious problems of mans ego, finance and leverage of 'power' over the people as an intermediary.

The real God loves his sons & daughters directly and is PROUD of you.
vs
Mass religions of churches and cults are evil and the devils playground, from abusing / torturing infant children on wards to their parents.

Governments should impose taxes as they are unfortunate businesses that mess with peoples minds and families, but I think they like the control.

Hard to speak with people when they are blinded by brain washing, even intelligent people cannot believe they have been duped.

Look on the bright side you are free to explore and enjoy real life by seeing the world.
It should cheer you up and have more fun in life - rather than sitting in a church chair as a zombie. :-)

[Violator]

Yeah, what he said. If you can go after that church I say do it.

[NITRO]

Thank you for the comments gentlemen. Much appreciated.

My parents will always be in that religion and that way of life. There is no going back for them. They are too far gone.

The part also was it took me at least 3 years to actually be accepting of atheism and many more years before that to undo the mental barriers I had inside holding me back from the brainwashing. The journey to get to where I am now took even longer than it will likely take for me to restore myself.

I don't want anyone to have to go through what I've gone through. To be told growing up continuously that being cut like this was a sign of a follower of god and only those which are cut can get into the kingdom of god. The physical scars will remain, but the emotional scars over this will be there a very long time.

[Violator]

I grew up my whole life as a Christian. Assemblies of God to be precise. While nothing truly awful ever happened to me because of it, it really fucked with my head. When I became a teenager there were things about religion that made no sense to me, and doubts were creeping in all the time. This made me a conflicted miserable teenager. When I was driving age I went and did all the things my religion said I couldn't. Drank, smoked weed, Had sex, went to profane concerts, Used profanity, watched porn, took the lords name in vain. I loved it all and decided a life of hedonism made way more sense to me then living the one life we have limiting yourself due to some old story from some old book that was rewritten thousands of times. Took me years to work through the guilt and truly shed the religion. I wouldn't consider myself atheist perse, I've had some mystical experiences in my time that make me open to the idea of some type of higher being.

[NITRO]

That sounds awful. At least you could go places when you were driving age. I was under tight lock and key as so to say. I couldn't just... go anywhere I wanted. I would be met with many questions and my parents would want to accompany me everywhere to ensure I kept my vcard. I only truly felt free when I was able to graduate high school at 16 and went to college. I was home schooled which made it much more easier for my parents to keep things protective. When I was in college, I could be free for the day or hours at a time. I could listen to metal (which was banned in the house along with anything newer than about 1970 as long as the lyrics were good in the music) and I could play violent video games because school security was rather lacking in 2003 (good times!).

I ended up not being able to be as free as you were at 16 or so. My blow out didn't happen until later in life about 10 years later. I ended up surviving living at home with my parents until that time because it was free living at home and I could save money to pay for my tuition. I just got better at lying when I was home, hiding things, etc.

When I exited school with a masters degree, I tried to find a job anywhere in the US, but this was 2012 and nothing was happening anywhere. It wasn't until months later that I got a job offer and took it landing me in Germany far away from my parents. But, they couldn't let me go. Weekly Skype calls, daily emails, etc. If I missed an email back in 24 hours, I would get another one asking what is wrong with me or whatever. If I was pissed off at them and wanted time to cool off and didn't email them back, I would get harassing phone voicemails trying to force me to answer back.

This no longer really happens as much anymore because I put my foot down, hard, several times over the years I've been in Germany trying to keep my parents from trying to control me. It was extremely difficult to undo all the brainwashing and it made it that much more difficult when my parents were acting like that because they feel they can control me and tell me what to do. I won't get into all aspects, but my parents are quite old school and wanted to pre-approve all women in my life by bringing a girl by on the first date so my parents can judge their worth before I could date the girl. Which, dating would end up being at my parent's house or with a chaperone in public to make sure nothing frisky happened like holding hands. I think you can understand now why I didn't date until age 26 when I could move out of the house so far away into a foreign country to just simply escape. Even when I finally told my parents that I had a girlfriend before they were visiting a couple years back, I told them after they booked their plane tickets because I knew they wouldn't end up visiting. And it was true, they couldn't cancel their tickets and they had to come and then told me that my girlfriend (after sending a photo of us) looked like she might have a STD and infected me or some other shit. It was absolutely embarrassing as this was the first impression by email my parents made to my girlfriend. All because I had a slight blemish on my face which they equated to an STD from a kiss or something. I have no idea their logic.

I could keep going with issues that have happened... but I totally understand your point of view and what happened to you. You were lucky... you were able to escape earlier. I still have a very strained relationship with my parents and the sad part is, my brother is still living at home and hasn't been able to escape yet. His mind is trapped in that way of life and even though he is a NYS certified lawyer, he cannot escape living at home. He has never dated anyone and I doubt he'll ever be happy in his life. This is the reality that I escaped. I wish no one else ever has to go through such a situation like what I went through. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

[Violator]

Wow man. That sounds truly awful. I'm terribly sorry you went through that. My parents were great about telling me all the things I could and couldn't do, but did a less stellar job of enforcing. So when they tried to keep me on a short leash Id just cut the fucking leash off.

It's great that you broke away from that and it shows a lot of your independence of thought being able to get away from something so brain washing. I hope your brother will eventually do the same. Don't give up on a realationship with your parents though. No matter how deluded they are, they are still your blood.

Its not at your expense, but I kind of have to laugh at the whole thinking someone has an STD based on their picture. That is truly absurd.

[NITRO]

I can laugh about it now, but boy it was so embarrassing at the time! My mom has a habit of jumping to conclusions on just about everything in life based on superstitions or whatever. These are these are the same people that told me a couple times growing up that masturbation would cause you to have down-syndrome or learning disability children.

The crazy part was when I was preparing to move to Germany, my mom came into my room and said that she wished they never encouraged me to go to college so I would be a car mechanic and stay home. I don't know anything about cars so I don't know how that would work exactly... And even when I was in Germany and was switching jobs and stuff, my mom said that she was secretly hoping I would lose my job there so I would have to move home and forget about all this Germany nonsense.

It was quite hard to get out of that situation and stay out. But, I did it. And there's nothing that they can do about it.

The thing that gets me is that my mom told me months ago that someday my brother would get married. I thought she was joking. He hasn't gotten married and I know he won't. He's 27 and is immediately flustered and awkward when he talks with a girl. Even my girlfriend thought it was funny when my mom mentioned that.

[OzVic]

Amazing real life stories, interestingly there was a comment in the paper about over controlling / micro managing parents being a disaster for their children sake.
I've only met one so deranged who left a two week plan detailing every micro managed activity for the next two weeks on his work desk by accident for his two little girls.
After reviewing it the poor girls have no life and no ability to make any decisions on the fly - that will end later in big tears in the real world.
Some parents are just too much!

Pity one cannot pre-order a balanced pair with commonsense at birth ?

[NITRO]

Yeah well, I didn't get into the not sparing the "rod" aspect of punishment growing up. That's the issue with ultra religious people: they say this is what god wants and they are only doing this because they love us. Totally fucked up. No self thinking like "should I really be doing this???" Nope. Just this is what a book tells me to do so I'll just go for it!

[parsecskin]

Yeah well, I didn't get into the not sparing the "rod" aspect of punishment growing up. That's the issue with ultra religious people: they say this is what god wants and they are only doing this because they love us. Totally fucked up. No self thinking like "should I really be doing this???" Nope. Just this is what a book tells me to do so I'll just go for it!

I use the term "sheeple" to describe them. All of us restorers are among the "awakened ones", and it's NOT just about this one issue. We see thru the smoke and mirror deceptions perpetrated by the psychopaths that run this world. There is a mass awakening happening, though, worldwide. More and more people are getting fed up with all the bullshit and it's only a matter of time before these psychopaths get exactly what they deserve. Then and only then can we heal as a planet and man can enter his true golden age.

[NITRO]

I use the term "sheeple" to describe them. All of us restorers are among the "awakened ones", and it's NOT just about this one issue. We see thru the smoke and mirror deceptions perpetrated by the psychopaths that run this world. There is a mass awakening happening, though, worldwide. More and more people are getting fed up with all the bullshit and it's only a matter of time before these psychopaths get exactly what they deserve. Then and only then can we heal as a planet and man can enter his true golden age.

I completely agree. We are all wising up to what is happening. We just need more of us

[TheRifleman]

Nitro, thanks for sharing your experiences with the rest of us. In my younger years I did check out the World Wide Church of God, and after reading Herbert W. Armstrong's book, "The Missinig Dimension In Sex," which might still be available in public libraries, I decided that I wanted nothing to do with that organization.

Mr. Armstrong, who claimed to be God's later day apostle, claimed that he had the Lord's blessing in most urgently reccomending that the foreskins of all baby boys be amputated on the 8th day after their birth, even tho it was not required under the New Covenant, to lessen penile sensitivity, and "greatly reduce" the danger of the parent's boys, that they would masturbate, which Mr. Armstrong described as a perversion of which there is "no greater plague."

I did not believe a word of any of that, and certainly did not believe that he had the Lord's Blessing in his cruel, stupid advice to parents.

The strange thing was that despite Mr. A's scorn for the male foreskin, he did offer an alternative to cutting it off: a male could train his foreskin to stay behind his glans, to cause lessened sensitivity and less temptation to masturbate.

Mr. A said, that problems with sex (such as masturbation) did not result from inadequicies on the part of the Great Designer (God), but from not obeying God's Laws (such as male foreskin amputation).

Mr. Armstrong was in effect, saying that God put the foreskin on males for the very purpose of being cut off. And, that although Christians were not required to amputate the male foreskin they should do so to prevent masturbation.

Repeatedly, the Armstrong writers, in denouncing evolution, were claiming that there were no vestigal organs, such as the appendix, which served no function, and that moderen science was showing that "vestigal" organs such as the appendix did have a function not eliminated by evolution.

But, of course, that did not apply to the male foreskin, which was put on males by God, for the very purpose of being cut off.

All of this makes me very angry, and I think it is time to stop it right now.

Welcome to the board, Nitro, and hope you will have success in restoring your foreskin, and defying Mr. Armstrong and his doctrines of Armstrongism.

[parsecskin]

Armstrong was an ASS! Cut guys jack off MORE. They have to make up for quality with quantity. This I can attest to.

[NITRO]

TheRifleman Indeed! This needs to be stopped. It cannot go on any longer and I don't want this to happen to anyone else. My parents got into that organization as they both were seeking something in their lives that was missing and that is when the cult stepped in. Science was put aside and logic as well. The fear of education was great.

For those that don't know WCG, they predicted the world was going to end. Twice. In the 70s. And still, my parents were involved with the religion up until the doctrine change in about 95/96. Unbelievable!