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  • hermes44
    replied
    I am in that same angry boat as you are. Its a very emotionally charge state and right now I cannot move on. I too feel that I have lost something very magical and important
    I will have to find a way to cope and move on.

    Leave a comment:


  • Corverad
    replied
    Thanks! I'm working on manual tugging now as I;m cut fairly tight.

    Leave a comment:


  • Allie2k14
    replied
    Hi Corverad,
    Originally posted by Corverad View Post
    I'm jealous of the men around me. I'm jealous of the feelings they can get when their skin tightens over their glans. I'm jealous of the sensations they have during sex. I can see it in the faces of the men I've dated. Sex just isn't as pleasurable for me as it seems to be for them. I can't get off from oral.
    ...
    I want to genuinely be overcome with feeling so that my fucking boyfriend won't feel bad about not being able to make me orgasm half the time.
    Yeah, that sounds familiar to me, but in the past.
    I wasn't able to reach orgasm from oral stimulation, too. It took much time to convince my partner that he wasn't doing anything wrong. It took time for us to move on and focus on other things during foreplay and sex. Now we usually play with my shaft in turns and that results in a better experience.

    With "in the past" I mean before starting restoration. After 2 years of restoration, the increase in sensitivity and dekeratinization of my glans has made my shaft much more enjoyable. Now I can reach orgasm with oral sex easily. Now masturbation is much more pleasurable with the increased skin mobility (gliding effect). Many times I have to tell him to stop or I'd finish off too soon.

    Originally posted by Corverad View Post
    Hell, even at school when I was little my friends would tease me about it.
    Yeah, ditto here. I was the only cut child in the class at school. Luckily, later on, at high-school and university, my class-mates and room-mates were more comprehensive and I never got a comment about my circumcised penis. They were all intact and more open minded.

    My advise is also what Stephen said, don't dwell too much on the fact that you were circumcised.

    Start restoring consistently, track your progress and you'll see results each month. Those results and this forum will serve you as a positive feedback encouraging you to continue until you reach your restoration goals.
    KOT

    Leave a comment:


  • Corverad
    started a topic I want to move on

    I want to move on

    I know I've been posting a lot lately. I want to move on.
    I don't know why my circumcision is having this bad of an effect on me.
    It's consuming me. I wish I could live obliviously or at peace with my circumcision. It's something that I think about often and I don't know what to do about it. I live in an area where the men are all uncircumcised. The men in my family are all uncircumcised, except for my father and I. I know this cause I was made fun of for it. I tried mentioning this to my parents once, in an attempt to maybe receive closure and move on, but I was dismissed by my father. My mother said she was sorry but that didn't help much. It did wonders for my self esteem when my parents waited for almost a year after my birth to get me circumcised because my penis was too small, even for a baby. I'm disappointed by them. For whatever reason they decided to cut me and yet within the year it took them of waiting for me to have a big enough penis to be circumcised, it must not have crossed their minds even once that maybe, just maybe it isn't a good idea to cut off a part of a baby's healthy, natural, and functioning sex organ. Hell, even at school when I was little my friends would tease me about it. I used to receive therapy for an unrelated reason, and when I brought up my circumcision the therapist just laughed as well.
    I can't pee in public. I'll stand at the urinal for up to a minute sometimes before anything ever comes out. I feel inferior to other men, like I'm less than they are. Sometimes it just hits me that I'm likely the only circumcised man in the room. That never feels nice. Thinking about my circumcision can put me in a bad spot. Hell, I might even feel better if I was Jewish, because then at least I'd feel almost proud of the my circumcision. But there just seems to be no reason behind this.
    I'm jealous of the men around me. I'm jealous of the feelings they can get when their skin tightens over their glans. I'm jealous of the sensations they have during sex. I can see it in the faces of the men I've dated. Sex just isn't as pleasurable for me as it seems to be for them. I can't get off from oral. It doesn't even feel that good, and if we're just at for too long I physically start to feel an uncomfortable. I know sex isn't everything, but I'm jealous of that. I feel like I was robbed of something. I want to be able to experience sex like they do. At the very least I want to genuinely be overcome with feeling so that my fucking boyfriend won't feel bad about not being able to make me orgasm half the time. My penis has feeling, don't get me wrong, it's just that the feeling isn't always pleasant. It just doesn't always feel as sexually pleasing.
    I suppose I'm a victim. Not really a victim in the real sense of the word. I have a roof over my head and an education. I live in the first world. People die and kill each other every day over stupid things and for stupid reasons, and here I am, unable to get over my fucking circumcision. I'm obsessing over this and I don't know how to stop. I want to stop, so badly. Not a day goes by where I don't think about this. It consumes me. Late at night sometimes it'll be all I can think about for hours. I can't keep living like this. It isn't healthy. I can try to stop thinking about it or redirect my thoughts if they go in the wrong direction, but when the smallest thing can remind me of my circumcision, I just fall back even worse than before. I know I'm obsessing over this and I know it's starting to consume me. I could care less if I ever put the work in and end up with a restored foreskin, I just want to feel at peace with this. I want to do something about this instead of getting my hopes up like an idiot pulling the almost painfully tight skin on my dick with my hands and then ending up in the same sad place most nights of the week.
    This is really the only place I have to express any of this.
    I want to do something, whether it means restoring or just fucking accepting it and moving on, I want to do something.
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