Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

How things are changing while restoring

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • How things are changing while restoring

    Fourth day covered with tape when flaccid, feels great. Almost like post orgasmic glow is my new normal, and I wonder how psychological it is too. I’ve also felt normally anxious and with no glow while being covered. At one point I was enjoying how good it felt to be covered and then realized I wasn’t covered. But maybe I felt good still because of new comparatively more hydrated status. Orgasms are seemingly still suppressed due to not enough skin , but they are more felt, it is easier to feel them with new sensitivity status. And they are more comfortable now, discomfort I didn’t know was there, and that I couldn’t pinpoint what it was, maybe a dried head, dried inner skin, and less stretched grown skin than what’s happened in the last days of being taped , has left. My first orgasm was two days after covered. It was so sensitive I clenched right away because maybe it would hurt. It didn’t hurt. My second one on the third day of being covered I trusted more and let it happen and it was so pleasant, and more charged. My third one on the third day I flexed until feeling pain and it wasn’t that good. The pain was strictly from not enough skin to fill out, hurting inside penis. Emotionally I am the same, but less numb, as being exposed was always sending bad signal feed to brain, and now without it, I am feeling more in tune with my emotions, and more loving. Like there is no but to my feeling good.

  • #2
    Still taped all day, no tugging yet except for manual stretching a bit. Orgasms are way stronger, way better, and they are more in my penis. Before they were emanating out into my prostate seemingly, or my belly, and whole body. Now they are all that, but especially felt in my penis. And if I overdo orgasms, have too many, later when flaccid my penis hurts a lot, like it is sore from being over used. Being uncovered sucks, as today when out walking tape fell off. At first being uncovered felt so bad , then by the time I got home it felt normal again and I had adjusted mentally to not be bothered by the feeling. Then recovering felt good. Being covered let’s me enjoy my body more, to feel good inside my entire body.

    Comment


    • #3
      I wondered how much I want to restore. Being taped has made my erection feel fuller. And my orgasms are , if I want them to be not draining, and if want just to ejaculate, as a sort of sleeping pill, I have had to learn how to minimize intensity of orgasm , and i wonder, more restored, more difficulty to ejaculate without orgasmic intensity?

      Comment


      • #4
        Depression has been bad since learning about circumcision recently with unbrainwashed perspective. I felt unloved to have had this done to me. And that love was used as an excuse to do this to me , that I am loved, so therefore to prevent disease and masturbation, which are bad for me, I needed to be cut. I felt like a victim and a scapegoat and that there has been nobody to complain to. Then I remembered my cat and how many animals I ate before I believed fruit and lettuce were food for me, and how nuanced and intimate my friendship has become with my cat as I’ve become more conscious. I contrasted the ignorance of my cutters with my own eating of animals and could no longer condemn my cutters without condemning myself. This saved me, to think of myself as having been so unconscious and repressed as my cutters, because it prevented me from hating my cutters. When I was getting more hateful, my anger was righteous , like I am good and they are bad, and it has made me rethink how much loving people is for my own good.
        Last edited by Zbubs; 01-04-2021, 06:37 AM.

        Comment


        • #5
          I’ve been taking an anger class to help deal with what’s been lost. I have not told them what’s been lost. I’ve been learning to allow my anger, and that it is taught that anger is not allowed usually, and that it has to be unlearned, so that anger can be expressed through a healthy channel . This has been true for me, as when I’ve blocked my anger, or rationalized it, it has come out in ways I didn’t see. By being unfriendly to people for no reason for example, or withdrawn. I think another way it may have come out indirectly would have been when covered with duct tape, it has been painful sometimes more than I should have allowed, but with repressed anger, somehow pain felt to be a good distraction . I’ve not allowed anger for fear of being punished. It seems anger is allowed so long as it is not directed at anyone. And as long as I don’t try to hide it, and accept my own anger, and allow it to happen , people seem to respect it. Allowing it seemingly instantly transforms it into something more like spiciness than anger.

          Comment


          • #6
            I thought I was done with the anger class but might continue to use it so long as I am restoring. Seemingly it can be a mental change to grow new skin and have a modified body part . I think I am over it, and prepared for more skin, and how that will be. The new feeling from taping is already something that I’ve needed to be mentally adjusted to. At first I thought I had won the lottery, and then life seemed normal again pretty soon after taping. All the benefits of restoring do seem like winning the lottery, but I think lottery winners aren’t any more happy. So I’m trying to stay cool about restoring and not expect anything, and not make a big deal out of however good it is to restore.

            Comment


            • #7
              I think being circumcised made my body less enjoyable to live in, so I lived in my mind more than my body, when a lot of intelligence is of the body, a lot of communication intelligence is in the intelligence of the body, of feeling the body’s signals, and reading the signals in others. Uncircumcising myself is helping remove a main obstacle to being emotionally mature. To be emotionally mature, I need to have my body doing well. Because otherwise the unwell body disturbs the emotions.
              Last edited by Zbubs; 12-26-2020, 05:19 PM.

              Comment


              • #8
                I just taped my penis and used a vibrator on it to bring myself to orgasm without a full erection. Usually the place that hurts most is the head when I have a maximum fullness erection, but with the tape covering the head, the head couldn’t be too over full and cause any pain. So in a way, I was able to have a better orgasm this way. I was able to have multiple not that good but still pretty good non ejaculatory orgasms, followed by one ejaculatory orgasm, that I pulled off the tape just at the last minute after the ejaculation was already triggered. After I ejaculate with an intense erection usually there is pain after in my penis, but after a taped orgasm I’ve felt no pain after.

                Comment


                • #9
                  I feel like I have different personalities, depending on whether I am covered. I am more type A I think uncovered and type B covered. I thought if I had intellectual work to do, maybe I ought to be uncovered. And maybe I should only grow enough skin to always have the choice whether I want to be covered or uncovered that day, so I can suit the mood better of whatever I’m doing that day. Even if being uncovered gives me type A superpowers I am still enjoying growing the skin by taping. I wonder if I should grow all the skin at the base as much as possible, so the skin that gets displaced onto and over the head as its main spot that it stays, is the skin that I already have, so therefore it isn’t double thick skin like what I heard regrown skin is.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I was thinking of doing some activism, like how could I not in a way. if I do activism, it will be mainly for my friends and family. But also I will enjoy too , maybe it is for me and others equally. I’m not going to call up friends and say “did you know, that if you regrow your ...” . So maybe making a public video, that my friends and family will see hopefully, can be the most easy way of telling people this. There are certain friends who I don’t mind to tell them just for the point of telling them. Maybe what I’m waiting for to decide if I want to make a video is for more progress restoring so I have more reference of what I’m talking about. Or maybe just this is my acitivism, just sharing my experience in the relevant place.
                    Last edited by Zbubs; 01-05-2021, 02:51 AM.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I just mastered tugging to the side . The trick has been to reduce the tension. It might be the new normal way to tug. To make tugging more exciting I’ve been drinking more water than normal and eating better than normal. It has erased so much of my depression that I could almost say meditation is nonsense compared to not having screwed up brain chemistry. Like reframing things, positive thinking; all nonsense compared to feeling good chemically via being physically healthy, in which case old trauma becomes erased by feeling good, like feeling good equals not remembering nonsense. But I also don’t have much time for meditation these days, and suspect if I laid down with eyes closed, even in spite of having eaten a bag of chips, I could still feel pretty calm and good. I sometimes have thought that depression makes me more ready to learn stuff that hurts to learn , like depression anesthetizes pain. I feel pretty back to normal as far as circumcision is concerned. Like I don’t have heated opinions anymore about it.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        The difference between orgasms now and before restoring is it was rare to be vocal and mean it without feeling imposter syndrome and now I can more easily need to restrain my being vocal , or I can be vocal more naturally. My breath is taken away by the experience more easily. I can also have fremgasms more easily, although I’ve never really focussed much on those before restoring , but I can stimulate just the frenulum , or the area I mean right at the scar line on the underside in the middle, with a somewhat limp erection, I can rub just that bit of skin, not massaging the internal penis by rubbing too hard, but just lightly rubbing the skin. It kind of hurts sometimes to do that, but I think a mind shift or a technique shift changes the pain into pleasure maybe. The pain reminds me of burning, maybe it is caused by friction heat from rubbing. Eventually it is only pleasure that results from doing that, and right at the moment of ejaculation, my penis gets more erect for a second or two , but otherwise stays limp , which pleases me, because it lets me have long intense orgasms without pain.
                        Last edited by Zbubs; 01-09-2021, 11:03 PM.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Im still unsure if there’s pain in the inner mucus skin and head, or if I’m using them too much and the pain is being caused strictly by that, or if the pain is being caused by their being scar tissue to some extent. I’ve lost somewhat enthusiasm for restoring, but only the extra enthusiasm that was too much anyway. I’ll try to wear the tugger 24 hours a day probably. Today I might be able to wear it all day or half the day at least. My mind has blocked my pleasure, my restored ability on a physical level has surpassed what my mind allowed , at least a couple times. As if there was too much pleasure, and my mind said “wait a minute, this is too much”, and the vibe was ruined. The vibe has reminded me lately of a dial switch going from one to ten, and each level doesn’t feel an itch to get to the next level. Each level feels complete on its own, and it grows into the next level automatically. I think I went from level one to level two. And then i thought, seemingly I have the tool for the job to get all the way to level ten . If only I can use it rightly. I think using it rightly goes wrong when my mind turns off for too long, and then turns back on again like it’s on a timer. Using it rightly means my mind is turned off in a way.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Zbubs View Post
                            I’ll try to wear the tugger 24 hours a day probably. Ty.
                            You don't need to wear a tugger 24 hours a day, if you put in 8 to 12 hours in day that is more than enough time to trigger mitosis. You need to give your skin time to recover, mitosis (growth) occurs when we are not tugging, mitosis does not occur when skin is under stress.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Gundog , thanks.

                              Sometimes I put toilet paper up my nostrils before smoking weed because the taste can make me sick from how much I don’t like it, I noticed after awhile I don’t need the toilet paper if I can remember the knack, or the feeling of breathing through my mouth . I think orgasms work in a similar way, in that there can be some sort of ejaculation , or some sort of peak sexual response, like a tightening up or something, but that during that, all the pleasure of the orgasm can be blocked out somehow. I’d bet the parents who circumcized their babies have those sorts of orgasms, very bland orgasms. Even if they have intact genitals I’d bet that’s the way they orgasm still. I think that’s why people say foreskin is just a hunk of skin, because they don’t have access or gain access to their own ability to feel pleasure. I have been stimulating just from the base to the scar line as much as possible, and there is obvious difference, having multiple orgasms in the same day, stimulating the undamaged skin, vs the damaged mucosal areas, has made me emotionally upset a bit, because I have more reference for how damaged I am, seeing that multiple orgasms by stimulating the undamaged skin isn’t so sore as it would be by stimulating the Mucosa areas. Also the pleasure felt with the undamaged skin being stimulated isn’t spiked with pain, and that upset me to think about how the mucosa areas would feel stimulated without a spike of pain.
                              Last edited by Zbubs; 01-17-2021, 02:10 PM.

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X