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  • Facebook Friend Announced Boy

    my Facebook friend just posted that she's pregnant with a boy. I worked myself up about circumcision, but I'm not sure how to broach the topic with her. She's more a friend of my mom than my friend, and I can imagine that it would be weird for someone to ask you for your thoughts on circumcision out of nowhere.

  • #2
    You gotta look beyond that barrier. That's part of being an intactivist. EDUCATING people is the key. If you don't do it, there may not be someone else. You could get some pamphlets from one of the many intact friendly causes like Bloodstained Men, Motheing.com, and others. Just leave it in her car or even get her on a emailing list. Be subtle and then pick her brain about it to open the door, then educate her. Show her everything, all of it. Elephant in the Hospital , www.norm.org. , etc. It's up to us to stop this shit. Plant the seed in her head now. When you realize that YOU saved him, it's one of the best feelings you will ever experience.

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    • #3
      How should I broach the topic? I'm at college right now, so I'm only able to communicate with her via Facebook.

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      • #4
        You said she is a friend of your moms, is your mom against circle? Maybe have her broach the subject about life experience with you and maybe she regret it and tell her to contact you for information?

        also maybe just be honest and send her a message with some links and tell her from a guys perspective you feel it's your duty toake sure everyone is well informed on the subject and give her the tools to make a well informed desicion herself.

        in my personal esperience if a woman gets informed on the topic they won't do that to their son, the problem I see a lot is women don't know any better. It's such a norm in this country its sickening and most doctors just push it and say it's "better" and safer for him because either they want the money or themselves don't even know any better.

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        • #5
          I don't know how well she and my mom know each other. For some reason, I don't want to get my mom involved, although she apologized for having me cut, which implies she's against circ.
          in your second paragraph, are you suggesting I should PM her and straight-up say "here's some info about circumcision", without any easing her into it? The last thing I asked this friend was when her baby was due.

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          • #6
            It's a very difficult subject to ease into. A lot of people are uncomfortable with it. Sometimes there's not a good way to broach it but just bring it up. Send her a message with some links and just say this is important to me. I would like to share some information with you. And go from there.

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            • #7
              If Facebook is your only communication medium, contact Brother K of the Bloodstained Men via messenger and have him break the ice for you by sending her some info . He's done it for me in the past in similar situations.

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              • #8
                Should I bring in my personal history, like "here's some information. Please don't circumcise your son; I went through a summer of sadness and anger at my parents, feeling X, y, z..."?

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                • #9
                  Yeah, absolutely. Tell her you are in a unique position because you actually remember what it was like to be intact.

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                  • #10
                    Oops, I guess I phrased it wrong. I meant that I was angry after discovering what had been taken from me at birth, not that that's when I'd been circumcised.

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                    • #11
                      Oh! OK. Well, I DO know the difference as I was cut as an adult. I tell you what, the difference is unbelievable. And not in a good way.
                      There's no easy way to broach the subject. You just gotta think about what that child will go thru if you DON"T do something. Just chat with her on messenger and bring it up nonchalantly. You know, something like this: "So what are your thoughts on circumcision?" You may be surprised at her answer. She may be against it already. If not, tell her that you have researched this subject extensively and what you discovered is not what you expected. Then show her all the stuff. ELEPHANT IN THE HOSPITAL is usually all that is needed.

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                      • #12
                        I've seen Elephant in the Hospital before, and I know there's imagery and a short clip of a circumcision. Do you know what the timestamps are? Do I need to tell her "there's some graphic content at this time, this time, and this time" or simply "there's some graphic content"?

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                        • #13
                          Just tell her that there is a clip of the actual procedure and that she should watch it as difficult as it may be. If you can't stomach watching that you have no business having it done to your kid. Like I said, usually this video is all it takes to change someone's mind.

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                          • #14
                            "Hello x, I am y. You know my mother z. I recently learned that you were pregnant with a boy and wanted to share some information with you..." I'm not sure what kind of relationship you have with this woman, but no mater how you go about it, please do not be silent.

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                            • #15
                              She already has a son. If he's cut, and she asks, what can I say other than "just tell him that you thought it was good to cut this part off because of all the stuff you heard, but you learned different later"?

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