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    Hello everyone,
    I'm 39 and from the UK. I was circumcised at the age of about 7yrs old and have felt like I've carried it as an emotional burden most of my life, particularly in my teens and early 20s.
    In the UK it's nowhere near as common as in other countries and I was extremely conscious of that. It has definitely affected my confidence in approaching girls and the perception of my own body image.

    I'm now married for 11 years and have 2 children. My wife has her own psycho-sexual issues predominantly related to her upbringing. Mine and her issues have led to a love life with some hiccups. It's only recently that I've felt able to actually disclose to her my feelings about what I feel I've been robbed of.

    I haven't spoken to my parents about the reasons for me having the procedure, but can remember it was undertaken because of a supposed Phymosis. I now work in the healthcare sector and know how utterly wrong this was. I'm confident that had my parents been better informed they wouldn't have agreed to it, and because of this I'd struggle to hold any negative feelings against them. Only against the medical fraternity.

    I'm now left with an emotional cauldron of anger, bitterness and sadness for what I'm missing, how its affected my relationship and formative years. I am however grateful to have found this forum and the resources.

    I plan on restoring but am also hoping for progress to be made in regenerative medicine.
    Last edited by Velvet; 02-20-2017, 10:35 AM.

  • #2
    Hello and welcome! I'm also from the UK and our stories have a lot in common, I have found this forum to be useful since joining in August.

    good luck with starting your journey!

    Comment


    • #3
      I am also from the uk and completly understand what your saying, we have alot in common with each other. i was cut at two but i have restored in the past on and off but im going to keep going until i have repaired some of physical damage and hopefully this will help my emotional and confidence issuse. Restarted december 2016 and will continue till the jobs done, i have let being circumcised dominate most of life which must stop.

      Best of luck on your own journey

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Velvet View Post
        Hello everyone,
        I'm 39 and from the UK. I was circumcised at the age of about 7yrs old and have felt like I've carried it as an emotional burden most of my life, particularly in my teens and early 20s.
        In the UK it's nowhere near as common as in other countries and I was extremely conscious of that. It has definitely affected my confidence in approaching girls and the perception of my own body image.

        I'm now married for 11 years and have 2 children. My wife has her own psycho-sexual issues predominantly related to her upbringing. Mine and her issues have led to a love life with some hiccups. It's only recently that I've felt able to actually disclose to her my feelings about what I feel I've been robbed of.

        I haven't spoken to my parents about the reasons for me having the procedure, but can remember it was undertaken because of a supposed Phymosis. I now work in the healthcare sector and know how utterly wrong this was. I'm confident that had my parents been better informed they wouldn't have agreed to it, and because of this I'd struggle to hold any negative feelings against them. Only against the medical fraternity.

        I'm now left with an emotional cauldron of anger, bitterness and sadness for what I'm missing, how its affected my relationship and formative years. I am however grateful to have found this forum and the resources.

        I plan on restoring but am also hoping for progress to be made in regenerative medicine.
        Consider this:

        In the light of your emotional response to being circumcised, I don't think it's a bad idea to ask your parents about what your symptoms were back then. Not in a confrontational, accusatory way, but rather in a simple fact-finding way. I suggest this for several reasons, not the least because there might be more to the story than you realize. Simple phimosis is usually treatable. Certainly physicians in the UK know this, so those who assessed, diagnosed, and/or treated you were aware of it, and your parents would also remember any first echelon treatments, before circ was even suggested. In fact your parents may have administered some them to you, at some point.

        I say this because your case might've been more complicated than you were told. What was described to you as "phimosis", might have been an intractable situation, with an increased risk of damage or with an associated resistant infection; in other words, a combination of symptoms beyond simple phimosis, leaving the treating physician with no recourse. You say you now work in the "healthcare sector", so you might have an idea that you haven't necessarily described the whole picture, and holding "negative feelings" against the "medical fraternity" isn't the best position to take without knowing at the very least what your case included.

        Here, in the US, at your age there has to be a clinical indication for circ, which has resisted all the usual treatment, over a period of time, or it doesn't get paid for, and consequently it almost never gets done. Don't fall for the usual forum hate. Look into your case, learn about it, form a better view of who the players were, and why they did what they did. This will make you a better representative of the healthcare sector.

        Comment


        • #5
          "Here, in the US, at your age there has to be a clinical indication for circ, which has resisted all the usual treatment, over a period of time, or it doesn't get paid for, and consequently it almost never gets done."

          Tell that to Chase Hironimus. BTW, all the charges against his mother were dropped today and the case officially closed.
          http://www.palmbeachpost.com/news/cr...XC8prlU91r1aL/

          Comment


          • #6
            Hello and welcome to the forum.

            As Info has suggested, for your own peace of mind and to help you come to terms with what has happened, do try and get the complete picture of why the circumcision was done. You should also be able to get a copy of your medical records.

            When you feel that you can let go of the issue and no longer have it “nagging” at you then you will be well on your way to recovery. Life is way too short to have it filled with bitterness and anger. To paraphrase a line from a Robbie Williams’ song, those gifts are better burnt.

            Anyway, good luck with your journey and that you restore both your mind and body.

            Comment


            • #7
              Tnx for the support

              Comment


              • #8
                I appreciate all of the support and advice i have received since joining the forum, all other times i have tried to restore i have done it alone but being part of a community has really helped push me and be determined to succeed.

                Thanks

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by parsecskin View Post
                  "Here, in the US, at your age there has to be a clinical indication for circ, which has resisted all the usual treatment, over a period of time, or it doesn't get paid for, and consequently it almost never gets done."

                  Tell that to Chase Hironimus. BTW, all the charges against his mother were dropped today and the case officially closed.
                  http://www.palmbeachpost.com/news/cr...XC8prlU91r1aL/
                  I'm replying here only because what you've implied is the same old F'ing forum bullshit. It is the myth of hate, and needs to be addressed to the wider audience (as well as the OP):

                  1. What I've said above is true. It remains true. It is the general truth in the US, amongst ALL the insurance carriers out there. Effective intactivist discussion depends on understanding this.

                  2. And, if you notice, I qualified. I said almost never gets done at his age without some resistant clinical symptoms. That's still true.

                  3. If a parent wants their kid circ'd, and they're willing to pay for it out-of-pocket while going against the advice from the first several practitioners they consult (which in this case YOU KNOW DID HAPPEN), then they can, if they put effort into it, probably find some asshole willing to risk his license and go against his State's medical board. If that doesn't work, hell, they can go to Manny out in the parking lot and have it done. I didn't say circumcision is impossible, Einstein, I said it almost never gets done medically without a medical reason. I wonder why you haven't been able to grasp that.

                  4. Well ... the reason is, you guys just want to hate. You want to hate, like that accomplishes something. Doesn't make you feel better, and it does make you look worse What was done to you, is done. Move on, be an effective intactivist, not an armchair hater. In your case, YOU did it to you. I'm sure that has to hurt, but hey, it's the truth as you've described it.

                  I've seen the same old ignorance and hate against the medical profession for years now. Medicine, and it's link with insurance carriers is mucho imperfect, no argument there, so put your angst where it belongs, in the birth/OB/no clinical indication scenario. All those innocent neonates who DIDN'T do it to themselves, and have no choice in the matter.

                  Sound intelligent. That's what you were trying to do, and you failed with your cause celebre exception-to-the-rule, WHERE A LEGAL CONTRACT WAS ENTERED INTO. That changes everything, if you have the minimum intelligence to understand why. That's Law, not Medicine, so maybe you can understand why a legal court upheld the contract, AND ENFORCED IT. They always will. Has nothing to do with anything else; has nothing to do with Medicine and all those evil "doctors" behind all those bushes. And consider this: that kid now has a possible open door to sue when he comes of age. Won't help his dick (the restoration message, here, will help some), but it will add to legal precedent. It's a slow and low crawl up the hill. But you sound like you just want to lie there.

                  5. Why don't you come up with even a handful of more examples of wild west circ happening on street corners? Shouldn't be hard, "handful" is a small number. But it will involve work, and that's where you guys collapse back on the couch.

                  Gettin' the message?
                  Last edited by Reality; 02-22-2017, 04:07 PM.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    When you reduce basic human rights to unjust words on a piece of paper disregarding someone's well being, it is you who have become instant asshole. Just because something is "legal" doesn't mean it's right. Thomas Jefferson once said: " If a law is unjust, a man is not only right to disobey it, but he IS obligated to do so". You talk about hate. There was no hate in that post. You, thru your over inflated ego, perceived it that way. I was merely stating a fact. Have you been drinking?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by parsecskin View Post
                      When you reduce basic human rights to unjust words on a piece of paper disregarding someone's well being, it is you who have become instant asshole. Just because something is "legal" doesn't mean it's right. Thomas Jefferson once said: " If a law is unjust, a man is not only right to disobey it, but he IS obligated to do so". You talk about hate. There was no hate in that post. You, thru your over inflated ego, perceived it that way. I was merely stating a fact. Have you been drinking?
                      LOL Feel like it sometimes.

                      For some reason, either because you can't grasp what I was saying, or because you can, but you're trying to evade it, my poiny either sailed over your head (perhaps logic is not your strong point), or you're straw-manning. You've gone completely off topic, above. Again. You first got specific, and now you're getting all vague.

                      Nobody said because something's legal, it's "right", other than the ruling judge in the case, and his view is limited, which he'd fess up to in a second. I didn't say it. But even now you're trying to be all passive aggressive and imply that I did. Jeeze, if I was drinking I could still understand the points in this thread.

                      I wonder why you can't understand the point ......oh yeah, painting the situation as completely dark, which you blame on medicine, and which you did with a failed counterpoint to my statement about medical practice and its (admittedly thin) medical constraints against willy nilly circumcision. See how you can make a case for a contextual "hate"; your comment was to my point about the US medical community and their practices. Kapish? Your comment was one more in a long line of hateful ignorance found on restoration forums. And the sad thing? You know that at least several physicians backed away from performing in this case, but you hid that fact, just to make your sticky little point. You're out in the light, dude, and we know why you said what you said. It's old hat. You can do better, at least by stating the pros and cons of your favorite exception to the general rule.

                      But, not doing that, that's either knee-jerk ignorance, or sneaky hate towards the guys who have put in place the only F'ing constraints on the act. What's hard to understand about that? You did what so many have done on the old forum, blame the only groups who are EFFECTIVELY working so far to keep the stats down. We have to take what we can get, in the insanity. Do we need more work done on medical/carrier policy, get those stats farther down? Of course, but guess where it will come from? Hint: not ignorant, passive aggression from forum warriors.

                      Now I think I will have a drink.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I "hate" to hijack this thread, but in the C.H. case the only reason those doctors backed out of performing the procedure was due to pressure put on them by The Bloodstained Men and their followers. I mean these doctors were badgered and abused HARD. I know, I followed it. They didn't want bad press or a lawsuit so they backed out. Are all medical professionals "bad" when it comes to this subject? No. There are many working to spread awareness among their peers, but so much of it falls on the deaf ears of the "old guard". They refuse to even listen. Trust me, it's not passive aggression. If want to blast someone, they'll know about it. I don't play that PC bullshit game with anything or anyone. "If you don't like the truth, tough shit" so to speak. If you ask me, you guys in the medical field need to really get on the stick about educating your peers and out those that refuse to learn. You need sympathetic and knowledgeable people in high places. Most notably the AAP. Those bastards refuse to even listen. If that organization WAS up to speed on this they could be an effective lobbying force to get legal protection for all.

                        Whatchya drinking? Try Admiral Nelson rum with Dole orange/pineapple/banana juice and a splash of pomegranate juice. The healthy way to get drunk!

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                        • #13
                          Please get back to the subject of the original post, or I will close this thread.

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                          • #14
                            (Head down, scuffing the ground with my toe) Ok, we're sorry. Family squabble : )

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Smiles, I understand.

                              Thank you.

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