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Not new to FR, but new here

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  • Not new to FR, but new here

    Hi all. I've decided to make a post introducing myself. The forums have been very helpful in my journey of restoration. I apologize for the length of the post. This topic is very personal and I would like to put some thoughts out there. Keeping everything to one's self is difficult as many of you know.

    Like many American boys born in the early '90s, I was circumcised as an infant. It wasn't until high school when I became aware of the difference between myself and some of my natural friends. Having never been a vain person (to a fault) I was and still am surprised at how much this has bothered me. For me, this seems to be a much more psychological issue of not feeling whole or fully a natural man. Though it is obvious I would have reduced sensation as a result of such an amputation, I was always satisfied sexually, (enough) I could normally last as long as a girl wanted, etc. I have a relatively loose circumcision so I never had tight or painful erections. It's all in my head. But, this incompleteness is real enough for me that I've always wanted to reclaim what was lost. Though I can't fix what has happened, I can try the next best thing.

    I started with T taping back in 2016. I did it for six months and then stopped because it's not readily conducive to intimacy and I tried to move on from restoration and accept things for what they are. I liked the progress and got a few wrinkles (I think I'm a CI-3 with a good amount of frenulum, a lot of inner skin and a major skin disparity between the underside and overside of my penis). I recently started using a TLC tugger every day to get back in business.

    I am a lucky man in other ways. I have a fiance whose response to my self conscious restoring was, "of course I don't think anything less of you. I just want you to be happy." She even jokingly calls the device my penis snatcher or asks how its going which makes me feel supported. She's known this has bothered me for years.

    My mother doesn't know about the restoration, but knows I didn't appreciate the decision she made all those years ago. She sincerely apologized, told me she's felt guilty about it for years and felt she didn't due her diligence as a mother when a doctor told her how good it would be for her baby boy. She mentioned it was a great irony of motherhood that your healthy boy immediately needed surgery to go home with a wound to remove something that wasn't broken. She's a good mother who fell for the scam. In fact, to this day, I can't believe she made a decision so out of character. Her mistake will help my lady and I make the right decision for our son.

    Thanks for providing me with the space, guys.

  • #2
    What a long story short. If it is good for you then be happy with it. And Welcome!!!!


    • #3
      Originally posted by cavaille View Post
      My mother doesn't know about the restoration
      Since you describe her as contrite regarding allowing you to be cut, I think she would benefit from knowing about restoration because she might be in a position to speak up about circumcision and restoration when you're not around.
      -Ron Low
      [email protected]
      847 414-1692 Chicago


      • #4
        You surely summarize your whole life story into this short story. By the way, welcome!!


        • #5
          Welcome! Glad you introduced yourself. I look forward to your participation.



          • #6
            So, at first, when it was suggested that I mention restoring to my mother I wrote it off as something that would never happen. We've talked about circumcision before and had very good conversations but, it is always kind of awkward to bring up. I mean, we're talking about this procedure we both think is horrible with the elephant in the room being she allowed this to happen to me, in fact, she asked for it. I know she feels guilty, so I didn't want to bring it up.

            Then I thought about it. Maybe if she knew I could fix some of it, that I was happy with the current progress so far and that some day I could look almost like and feel somewhat like I should have all along, she wouldn't feel as bad. I decided I would mention that some people restore their foreskins and see where it went from there. Turns out, she already knew a little bit about restoration. She thought about discussing it with me (I'm the only one openly bothered by circumcision, my brother, also cut, doesn't really seem to care) but didn't think I'd be interested considering the time commitment or the fact that it doesn't really undo what happened.

            I told her I've been doing it on and off for a few years and recently planned to really commit, without adding too much detail. She supports it. She just wants me to be careful.

            So thanks for suggesting I do that. It was a good thing.

            PS. After a few months of real committed tugging, I experienced my first rollover at work today. Only for a moment and when I was in a rush to go to restroom. But it made me smile. It works! To be fair, I started pretty loose, but not that loose!