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Recently started tugging again - My story

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  • Recently started tugging again - My story

    Hello all,

    I have just gotten back into tugging consistently a month ago, for reasons I will list in a moment. I might have made a few comments back in the old forum, but it always left me feeling depressed reading or I'll be honest, thinking and over-thinking about foreskin restoration, etc. I knew what I had to do, but I've always had a tendency to research (and over research). But I've grown up a bit since those days. I've learned a lot in my journey so far, just felt it was time to share some of my experiences.

    I'm 21 and I've lived most of my life in Florida. I began restoring just over 4 years ago. I was cut at birth. I was born in Ohio and my parents are American. Maternal grandfather is Jewish, so mutilation is in my family. My father was born in the 50s, need I say more? I never asked my father about his father,but he was born just before WWI, so I think it's quite likely he was intact. Never discussed the matter with either of my parents because I never saw the point. Don't talk to them now, but that doesn't have anything to do with foreskins.

    I “found out” the spring I was 17. Needless to say I was devastated. But I kept reading and learned more and more about foreskin restoration. I started out at CI-3. Inner foreskin was almost the length of my glans, so I did taping to retain as soon as I started. Probably one of the things that kept me at it all this time was maybe a week and a half or 2 weeks after starting I had some of that “sunburn” come off one day in the shower. That's when the whole process became real for me.

    I did manual pretty regularly in the beginning. My motivation came and went (I was 17 haha) but I always retained. Usually just one piece of ¾ inch masking tape from 3 o'clock to 9 o'clock. Wasn't until early 2013 that I got a TLC Tugger. be honest at the rate I'm going, in a few months I'll probably have used it in the last few months more than I did the whole time before. So what changed?

    Well, to answer that I have to come up to the present. I have used the single piece of tape all these last few years. It became part of my routine. Didn't think about it, didn't connect it with circumcision, just did it. I'll admit it's the lazy man's way, but it did a point. (The point, in fact)

    With irregular stretching and tugging and dedicated taping, I'm currently a CI-6, with a FEC of around 200%. (Haven't taken a scientific measurement, just an approximation) with one important caveat. I don't have enough outer skin. During the winter (all 3 weeks of it haha) everything would stay nice and tight, but under clothing in the summer when everything hangs lower the scar area is rubbing against everything. Very uncomfortable! Especially since I work outdoors and get really sweaty. So I still tape, like always, even though at this point I don't think there's enough tension to do much. (Oh and my foreskin growth is quite symmetrical. I can't explain it. You would think it might not be with guys doing cross taping, but just the 1 piece of tape didn't lead to less skin on front or back, etc.)

    Ok, now I'm finally going to come to it!.... For the last year or so, off and on, I've been a home nudist. (I live alone) And when nude the foreskin stays in place, because it's cooler, (comparatively) and because clothes aren't jarring it out of place. Well, a month ago I decided to go to a clothing optional beach for the first time. Going in the water and coming out was sufficient to get a very tight foreskin, which even once warmed stayed tighter than normal. But not enough so to make me happy.

    That's what finally motivated me to be more consistent with tugging. Because I absolutely love the freedom and openness of nudism. It's not that I think anyone would mind, but *I* would mind. It's just annoying. If you don't know much about nudism or find it weird, you should really read up on it. It's not sexual at all....once you get used to it. (You don't get a hard on whenever a pretty girl in clothes walks by, do you? Or at a normal beach for that matter?...don't answer that haha) Plus add the fact that FL clothing optional beaches are primarily older hetero couples and old gay men, so there aren't many pretty boobs to look at anyway.

    But I've made a lot of other life changes recently. Eating healthier (wasn't bad before, just less bread, more protein and almost no processed foods if I can help it. And exercising. And going out more, even if it's alone. Living live! Not sure if any older guys have insight, but a few months ago I just stopped giving a fuck what other people think about me. I had really bad social anxiety and depression at times from my early teens until...last year I guess. There are no fixed points where you change, but there are points you can see that you've changed. I can honestly say I've never been happier...generally, because I'm not going to let myself ruin life and waste precious time. It really is a mindset.

    And I finally severed my ties with religion. (rabbit hole warning) If you're just starting, I'm not going to tell you you can't be a Christian and believe RIC is wrong, but in my experience you're walking a fine line. I was an extremely serious Christian a few years ago. Like seriously. I memorized 2 of Paul's epistles and could recite them verbatim. I know the arguments about how “originally” circumcision was different, but I think it's still an evasion of the issue. It's still genital mutilation. The Hebrew god is still ….fill in the blank with whatever Richard Dawkins would say.... Not that I take Dawkins seriously in large part. He's a “professional” atheist, kind of like how Al Sharpton is a “professional” black victim. But the “flying teapot in the sky “does sound really awesome. More or less I'm a non-dogmatic atheist. I'm not going to argue you into my position, but I'm going to point out that belief in your God/gods is unfalsifiable. Anyway, I might have given up on religion anyway, but God demanding genital mutilation was kind of a serious point in my mind for a couple of years.

    So all that being said, now I tug after work and at night. I tried tugging at work one day, but I move around so much it would slip after maybe an hour. It'd be easy if I had a desk job, but I couldn't stand having a desk job. I'd go crazy!

    Even after just this month of steady tugging things are much better. I know it's just that the skin entered “stretch mode”, but I can trust the skin to stay in place more, even if the effect would end if I stopped stretching for a month. It's a process. My goal is at least CI-8 before evaluating. That's still a way off. I grow a bit. Cold-cold I'm about 3-3 ½ inches. Normal warm weather around 4 in. And 7 inches hard. (The correct way to measure an erect penis is standing up, parallel to the floor and with a ruler against the pubic bone. This will be the largest measurement possible, but the most accurate as well.) I'll get there eventually. But what I want if for this part of my life to finally be in the past!

    Life is that thing that happens when you aren't looking.

    So I've been going at it for 4 years. What have I gained? So much. I can't even describe it all. I didn't have sex till the past year, so I can't comment on that, (I was painfully aware of how late I was) but masturbation is night and day. It really is so much different, it's like it's not the same thing.

    And besides the sensation side of things, it does have an emotional component too. Knowing what I know about MGM, while I would admit to being cut in certain situations (e.g. discussing with someone who hasn't heard of restoration) I do refer to it as “my foreskin”...even if it's not quite done yet. It does feel healing and empowering. Maybe some purists wouldn't like that, but I think since I put in the time I'm perfectly entitled to it. Even if it's not as sensitive as it should be it can still do the 2 other jobs foreskins have: protecting the glans and lubricating/cushioning a vagina. And it does feel amazingly sensitive at that.

    So....this is my story. It's not done yet. And that's the best part of all.